Wednesday, August 29, 2001

It has been pouring the past couple of days. no drop of sunlight in sight. just grey clouds circling the house like a menace. yeah, I wanted to crawl back in bed since I was clammy and abit off in demeanor. well, I think with my tooth feeling better, sinuses had to take over again cause no way, no how will I ever be free of symptoms. that would be sacrilegious! more

Monday, August 27, 2001

All I did was run my tongue along it. barely touched it, just one flick across it and back again while I stared in the mirror examining myself per usual. that's all it took for the pain to start in my jaw. I wasn't sure what was happening. when I sat back down, I knew something was horribly wrong with that tooth back there that always looked discoloured and was sensitive to the cold. there was no denying this; I had a cavity. more

Saturday, August 25, 2001

Oh man, what's up with me? it's like music mania weekend starting friday. I sang all day, then today, I sang and dance and listened to show tunes and Belle and Sebastian..some other random stuff as well. I've turned into Chloe and Brady on Days of Our Lives but I'm less cheesy and there's only me. plus, I don't make those corny expressions. more

Wednesday, August 22, 2001

My heart pounds and I rub my hands through my hair like I don't know what to do. shakily, the strands of hair get caught between my fingers. I wish it would look pretty all the time. maybe I'll have to go to a salon soon. I haven't been to one in a year or so. I'm always afraid to even touch my hair once it's been "done" cause well, I'll ruin it with my masochistic fingertips and nails of horror. the clamminess sticks to it and it's ruined. no longer pure. now full of hate. things never are perfect forever. more

Saturday, August 18, 2001

I must premise this by saying my thoughts are scattered today and there is no consoling them as of right now, so I'm just going to talk in tangential stories. stories of what might be, what has been, and what is. erm yes, well, don't be too thrilled. more

Wednesday, August 15, 2001

I can't stop the butterflies in my stomach. I'm not sure if it's from giddiness, from my poor sinuses/allergies that attack my head and go down my throat or what. yes, TMI. I took a break thanks to my special entry and now, trying to write again normally seems almost difficult. more

Sunday, August 12, 2001

Since I saw this at kottke, I thought I really would type up a piece or two from past journal entries that are NO LONGER ON THE WEB! exciting stuff, eh? I certainly would've done it sooner, but I wasn't sure I felt like searching. I'm semi-glad I did though. shows when things started and what kind of person I was back then. more

Saturday, August 11, 2001

I feel down and exhausted. cloudy day, hardly any sleep, ruined my pants with one swift move (I got up) and now I just feel like burying my head in the ground. I should be happy for certain reasons, but the fact is, I'm not really. more

Wednesday, August 8, 2001

Ah la la la loooove. I shall be in love by September 21 according to Marie Claire or at least my chances will be good. yay! and a big star around money and careers which is a big up. maybe if the earrings don't sell now, they'll have to wait till september when luck shall hit. I'm all about the art of a lucky day. more

Monday, August 6, 2001

Now, y'all may know I post at this other forum that has nothing to do with squishettes. ya may not. anyway, its name is Sephira. I actually haven't posted there during the whole weekend since I was "distracted" all night but nevermind that. the reason I bring it up is cause I've had more dreams about certain members who post there. it's weird y'all. and I'll tell you what it's all about... more

Saturday, August 4, 2001

my throat is scratchy and my head is consumed by what seems like fluid. it's a horrible feeling when your head feels like a dead weight, sloshing about, and the only way to relieve this without taking anything is to scrunch the face up and lean the head on something to prop it up. drastic measures for drastic times, eh? more

Thursday, August 2, 2001

San Marino

All right. everywhere is a tourist trap though. had really good tortellinis.


The nicest people though they don't speak english. bad experience since i was on my period. the punk stores are always closed. it seemed the best place to shop. it lacked tourist stuff. (note: i bought a The Crow poster here.. very cool since it was all in italian, heh). more

Wednesday, August 1, 2001

snip snip snip. I'm feeling all down again. it's like if I had taken antidepressants before this would be me off of them. I just think it's cause I'm standing back and uhh as stupid as this sounds, looking at myself as a real person. not just someone who is trying to be busy, so I won't ever have to think long enough to see myself as really here. it's even funny that I told mom yesterday, it was like sometimes she was a hologram. she's so short and cutesy that sometimes I think she's like those little fairies who pop in with a wand in their hand and then disappear with some pixie dust in their wake. just funny how I think like this at times. more

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