Ah la la la loooove. I shall be in love by September 21 according to Marie Claire or at least my chances will be good. yay! and a big star around money and careers which is a big up. maybe if the earrings don't sell now, they'll have to wait till september when luck shall hit. I'm all about the art of a lucky day.

in the news..in the heart
09:45 PM CST

Today Days was interrupted after five minutes due to some washers dangling from an office building on harnesses. it took an hour of this! I mean, couldn't they just say they got up safe and sound later. I mean, what if one of them fell to their death while on live tv and weren't saved? what then? they make everything waaay dramatic on the news. I mean, I was scared shitless during the storm thanks to the 24/7 coverage. they even do it for small stories. the guys were saved, hallelujah! amen! lets move on back to the soap opera!

It did eventually run in it's entirety around 1:54, so I stayed in bed an extra ten minutes. I must admit, Days has gotten more exciting as of last week. that one guy who wants the kids to call him "Uncle Paul" I call "Lucifer"...hehehe. he has that evil glare about him. all he needs is the horns. damn, I mean, did they have to make it obvious that he was bad? well, I guess we know he just got out of jail, but really now! and he's too young to have Brandon or Nicole as a son and daughter. he looks at best 36-40...heh.

I talked to the grandparents after getting up. mom was on the phone with them earlier cause I heard the phone ring and laughter. I had figured. I went and checked my mail till mom called me. I tell grandma everything; it's sorta cute. she's happy with whoever I make friends with and what I'm up to and she was shocked when I told her the pool story. damn, I didn't think it had been that long since we had talked. that was at the beginning of July. she was screaching, "you stuck your foot in the water?" like it's a big feat. I'm sure it is, but I dunno. I didn't see it as a big deal like it was. maybe I was calmer that day and it was only a step away from my house. maybe if I had been sick that day and had gone, it wouldn't have been as fun and I would've felt more proud. I was proud that I got my pictures and they had come out, but I didn't realise it was something I should've paid more attention to, yo!

I told her about the earrings that won't sell (oh yeah, what I said yesterday about not being screwed? I was screwed. the guy decided on a different gift idea; yeah, I went to my room silently not telling mom what was wrong and cried abit into my book; I'm a yutz), about the news story, about who I'm talking to as of lately and how mom gets entirely too engrossed on how a person could be not right. I mean, I understand the need to watch who you talk to and what you reveal, but I seem to do a good job of figuring out if they seem weird.

Which brings me to another point. some know about touga kun; one of my friends. well, he said some things last night which made me unable to stop thinking about possibilities and him and what he described and eck. I hate being hot and bothered with nowhere for any of it to go. I mean, I was pretty much fine not feeling anything for awhile and now I sorta hope for love. damnit! why? why? why? a cute boy has to call me princess and tell me I won't be lonely anymore and I suddenly collapse into a puddle on the ground. I just about literally did. if a person could swoon, that's what I'd be doing.

I find myself wanting to settle for people at times just cause we might share interests or they live nearby or I'm just bored with life and need excitement. I realise that when I do that, it doesn't work and then I feel let down even more cause the "Not My First Choice" ones reject me too. just knowing I'm okay for maybe one second makes me feel better about things.

Alright moving on, today it feels like I have a tumour in my chest. I think it's just bloating and gas pain due to that time of the month arriving soon. yes, I'll be falling off the roof with a hot water bottle in my lap very soon and I'm not looking forward to that. I get very emotional as I already am. maybe that's why I'm vulnerable now. *eep* it was hard to sleep last night though. due to friskiness and pain in my chest and stomach and just otherwise hottness. the room was hot and I kept kicking the covers off and putting them back on. repeat. until around 6:30 when I exhausted myself silly I s'pose. I don't remember anything till seeing those guys hanging by the roof.

I must admit, it was pretty surreal to see two men, live on the news, and hanging on for dear life. I can say, at least I'm not in that position. at least I am safely in bed during the storm.

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