After the whole motivational Saturday, I forgot to watch the new Trading Spaces and I just ate twix and drank sprite the rest of the weekend while in a daze. I seriously think there's a problem with this. hrm..

Rainy Days Yet Again
06:23 PM CST

DST screwed up my schedule even worse. now I cannot fall asleep till 7:30am and I wake up anywhere from 3-4pm. I keep wanting to blame it on the crappy weather making me think it's still nighttime or I really am that tired from the messed up body clock routine. I realllly should attempt to fix my schedule since last night I felt so frikkin' horrible and couldn't even get tired for a long while.

Lightning shot through the window in some ecstatic show of lights ...I cowered underneath the covers wishing I wasn't alone. storms make me eerily scared. I fear getting electrocuted even when I'm not touching metal cause I think the lightning can break windows in some freak accident and seek me out. I'm not kidding. some people find it enjoyable like dad, but I just dislike storms all the way around. I get lonely, I fear flash floods where it will consume me and I'll drown, and that lightning will kill me. yes, lovely thoughts. I don't mind a spring shower though where you can barely see the misty rain as it falls - the only way ya know it's happening is the movement on the puddles makes pitter patter noises and causes a ripple effect. anyway, I only stand it cause it's non-threatening and people can walk with umbrellas quietly and with no fear. in disaster storms people run with umbrellas blowing so hard they turn inside out or they don't have an umbrella at all and are running in fear with maybe a thin sheet of paper overhead.

Anyway, yeah ....I wished I wasn't alone and perhaps I would've been able to sleep better without jumping at every noise made if I hadn't been. the *door people* were supposed to come around 1pm to fix the door - there is nothing wrong with the door, but they think it is worn down and perhaps making the neighbourhood look bad. why always us?? I don't see other people washing their doors or having other people work on them. at least, not that I know ...this brings me back to the old neighbourhood which was a ghetto anyway in my mind - I mean, graffiti at the park?? - they would put notices on our garage saying to get it fixed cause it had abit of wear and tear at the bottom corner which wasn't pleasant for the neighbours to see. I think they told us to mow our lawn more often, too ...had they even seen the corner house? it was practically a jungle!! anyway, I think there's a conspiracy against us where we're the only ones noticed for embarassing neighbourhoods cause of the upkeep. it's not like we let stuff pile up outside in a heap...perhaps the door isn't as shiny as the others, perhaps it's abit dusty, perhaps perhaps perhaps ...from inside, there's nothing wrong with it. I even opened it before and saw it from the outside. there's even a photo of the door I have from both sides here and a closer view of the stain glass window. anyway, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. they're going to take it off the hinges to repair it which will take two hours. if it cannot be repaired, they will advise we buy a new door. 'scuse me?? hrmph. okay, anyway, mom said they notified her that they couldn't do it today cause of the rain storm last night, so it has been moved to Thursday at 1:30pm. thankfully I'll probably still be asleep if DST still has a hold of my sleeping pattern. I promise to work on it though.


I'm so glad I seem to be feeling abit better. last night wasn't pleasant though. besides freaking out over the storm, my stomach was all crampy and bloated and I couldn't find a good spot to lay down without hurting worse and having to breathe through my mouth. it was a very odd sensation. I thought I was going to have a panic attack if I kept breathing like that considering ...I tried calming down and thinking pretty thoughts. eventually I passed out and when I woke up, the pain had subsided abit which is a good thing.

The night before last, I had a rather odd dream involving a black kid with a baseball cap who kept pulling on the sleeve of my shirt. he would come over everyday to play with my things and go in my closet. apparently he made a mess in there the previous night in the dream and I got so fed up, I locked the door from the inside. the boy pulled and pulled on my sleeve asking me to open it and that it wasn't fair. I yelled at mom that I couldn't have one peaceful moment without this kid coming over - why couldn't I spend some time alone?? I was so angry that I walked outside onto the front stoop to be alone and the boy followed me. I wanted to rip his head off thinking about how he messed with the cartridges of my games and left sticky marks on the walls and threw my clothes on the floor.

Mom thought that perhaps in the dream I had wished to have a chinese boy to do my taxes, but instead got this boy which made me fed up. that's sort've erm, bad. I certainly hope that's not what was going through my subconcious at the time.

This past morning, I had a very muddled dream - I recall there were hallways and talking to certain people, but I have no idea the theme or the plot at all. I keep trying to think - it's so frikkin' vivid, but when I'd try to tell mom, it wouldn't come out. she just shrugged me off cause she was reading her email. that was perfectly okay at the time since it wasn't coming out right. she sometimes likes to block me out when it's important. this time it wasn't.


OOOOOOH!! THE SUN PEEKED THROUGH THE CLOUDS!! HALLELUJAH!'s slowly fading away now, but that was quite a sight ...made me smile for two seconds.


My bday is around five weeks away - I've already started planning my list. ya see, the importance of bdays to me are the presents's not a purely selfish thought entirely seeing that I'd rather have lindsey and the rest of the relatives here to spend time with, but my bday hits at an inopportune time for most, so I simply cannot spend time with those I'd like to ....the gift opening part is the only thing that makes me realise it's my bday. that and the cards and perhaps a cupcake. I didn't get any cake at all last year, but it was alot better than the previous one before that. I think not having a cake was a good thing since my sinuses were alot worse for a long while there. cake just made me nauseous. I'm getting better cause of my eardrops and such, so perhaps this year I'll get one ...I don't know. I didn't have a problem with the cake mom got for hers.

Mother's day comes before my bday though, so I have to get mom a gift. I think last year I got her a top, so this year perhaps it'll be the same. she showed interest in some belly chain thing on eBay that was made out of turquoise and other stones didn't appeal to me though and $45 seemed abit much to be asking's more than a shirt! and I hate belly chains! I really do! I don't know whether to get it to make her happy and have to see her wear it or just get her a top which probably won't go out of fashion. I just don't like such things as belly chains, toe rings, ankle bracelets. those things make me think bad thoughts. mom's subtle ankle bracelet was okay though considering the yoga influence. it was silver and very inconspicuous ...this chain is toooo ick. I'd notice it and I even dislike wearing belts unless I need one to hold my pants up...seriously.


So, anyway, I've still been rather good - I haven't spent any money since my haircut on March 12th. almost a whole month of no spending ....I want a book that comes out tomorrow though, so I probably won't make it. that's perfectly okay though. who cares if it's been exactly a month or a month. mom says I can spend what I get and that's fine ...that I shouldn't feel guilty - I never really did before unless I got the spending virus where I cannot stop. buying a book or a cd every now and then never used to get me all up in a bunch of wonderment over if anyone cares.

Tonight for dinner I'm having Tortellini with sauce and parmesian tossed on top - I shall eat it while watching The Bachelor which I forgot to watch last week. hurrah! I predict a good night.


Forum Topic: Upkeep Notices

Former Forum Topic: Storms

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Hola. Mi nombre es Fransisco. Odio tormentas también. Me hacen asustado. Y pensé que era el único. Tengo gusto del tocino. usted tienen gusto del tocino?

- 04.10.2002 02:19 PM - Fransisco


Me olvidé de mencionar que tengo que leer esta página en español. Todavía gozo de ella. ¿Por qué not? Usted sabe que la mayoría del mejicano no tiene gusto de meximelts? Es divertido.

- 04.10.2002 02:35 PM - Fransisco


Ululación! no sabía que iba internacional - alegre usted goza del sitio :)

...y sí, apenas tuve que traducir esto a español para parecerme todo el spiffity como ese y guardar con todos los españoles comenta!

- 04.10.2002 06:19 PM - Ambito!


No soy un hombre bonito. Incluso así pues, los comentarios españoles me traen mucha alegría. Levantemos el pan dulce en una tostada a Fransisco. Puedo hacer menos?

- 04.10.2002 07:20 PM - Feo Hombre


Mi madre es en llamas. Humedecer su cuerpo sería provechoso pero los comentarios aquí son cautivadores.

- 04.10.2002 07:43 PM - Juan


Oh mi señor. Ese, usted debe salvar a su madre. Un hombre puede solamente tener apenas uno.

- 04.10.2002 08:21 PM - Fransisco


Um, I don't think what y'all are talking about now is in response to this entry. I'm going to have to ask that the spanish conversation be brought elsewhere.

the shoddy translation: Um, no pienso que qué y'all ahora está hablando está en respuesta a esta entrada. Voy a tener que preguntar que la conversación española esté traída a otra parte.

- 04.10.2002 08:30 PM - Amber


Sí! Debemos hablar de tormentas del relámpago. Las tormentas del relámpago todavía me asustan. Pienso todas las historias que mi padre una vez me contó sobre ser golpeado por el relámpago. Cuando él era joven lo golpearon. Él se cayó una altura larga y rompió sus costillas. Él era inconsciente y casi muerto. Ésa es solamente una historia. Él contó muchas historias. Todas me asustan. Cuando hay relámpago yo piense en sus historias. Historias terribles.

- 04.10.2002 11:28 PM - Fransisco


I have try to make the discussion in english at altavista. Yes! We should talk about lightning storms. Lightning storms frighten me still. I think all the eleven stories my to father told me about being hit by lightning. When there am was Young there am was hit. There am fell to long height and broke his ribs. There am was unconscious and almost died. That is only one story. There am told many stories. They all scare me. When there is lightning I think of his stories. Terrible stories.

- 04.10.2002 11:32 PM - Fransisco


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