july 20, 2000
snippets of conversations
and escapades into dreamland

12:45am

so grandma called this afternoon while I was watching Days of Our Lives. I didn't know it was her till mom was about to open the door to my room as I was making my bed, to ask if I wanted to say hi. I could hear mom's muffled voice through the walls earlier and knew she was chatting and it was too early for "the guest" and all that but it didn't click till that moment. I, at first, got mad that mom opened my door [it's one of my pet peeves that only I open the door when I first get up since I don't like people to see me before my hair is combed] and said, "no, NO!!! don't open the door!! not yet!!" I tried messing around with my hair with my fingers and hiding behind my pillow. I get seriously paranoid of anyone seeing my hair sticking up since I'm afraid of being made fun of, even by mom!

sooo I go to the bathroom and comb my hair and then I get the impression I'm only going to say "hi" and take the phone. it turned into this big conversation where we start arguing. this happens everytime. this is abit of how it went:

ME:
no..NO..look...grrrrrr AAAH! ::she is mumbling on about something and I can't get a word in so I get agitated:: JUST LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!! that's not it AT ALL!

GRANDMA:
okay, go ahead

ME:
what I'm trying to say is that you buy the electronics online and pick them up at the store

GRANDMA:
ooooh I see. well, will you be going to this store to pick them up. if not, that's cheating, making your mom go

ME:
of course! what would be the point otherwise? we haven't ordered them yet though so no use mentioning it.

GRANDMA:
well alright. just make sure you go. I'm sure you can go out to the bookstore or to look for things that aren't online..well, everything's online now but you see what I mean?

ME:
yeah ::I calm down:: so, that's my top priority! next is getting my hair cut...did you know I'm considering purple?

GRANDMA:
well, dye it orange, green, whatever, as long as you are out and about!

I beam in delight since we usually argue about that...one argument is enough but there were two...


GRANDMA:
well, make sure your mom or dad go with you when meeting people for the first time

ME:
it's really not necessary. well, that other guy just came to the house.

GRANDMA:
and your mom wasn't there, am I right? you can never be too careful...there are weirdos..

ME:
I'm more the weirdo I bet...haha. I have intuition anyway soo I know who to trust and who not to.

GRANDMA:
yes! even you!! ::chuckles to herself:: but, really, the ones who seem the most normal are the ones to watch out for; they can kidnap you!

ME:
::pressure is building up; getting frustrated and pounds on bed lightly in giving up mode:: argh! we aren't all weird!! anyone could be weird. you just don't understand. conversation over.

GRANDMA:
okay, I'm just sayin' ...hum hum hum...

so that was that. really, I did like chatting with her though. the arguments just give a certain flare everytime. it wouldn't be a conversation without at least abit of that. there was more to all of that but eh, it's personal or just not worth discussing. alittle of both.

I had another dream in the morning hours. I woke up at 9 something first off and rolled back over. it was a kinda school dream but it started out as me trying to get a picture with tori amos! hmmm!! usually singers aren't in my dreams and I haven't even been listening to her music lately but she was there nonetheless. I couldn't get my camera to work though. I tried weirdly positioning it so I could press the button [I never thought to press the self timer] and nothing worked! tori was getting quite agitated and no longer wanted to pose for the picture so I felt defeated and cursed my camera. mom ended up getting a picture with her displayed on this wall and she had long blonde hair and looked like one of those beach or valley girls...argh! and it had my name inscripted on a metal plate underneath it. I was furious that mom was pretending to be me!!

there was another part that dealt with the last day of school. we were all gathered in the cafeteria for some sort of party. I went from table to table but no one really looked over at me. I smiled and I saw some people I knew sitting in auditorium seats on the other side. I sat with them for abit but nothing really occured. I then crossed over where I saw lori [someone I knew from school but never really sat with..hrm] and we talked abit or something. I realised I hadn't cleaned out my locker and was thinking of ways to escape upstairs and then I realised I had even tougher problems on my hands. I hadn't completed my classes and my books were all still there! I had no idea what to do and how to return them without all of them knowing I hadn't finished. soon enough my thoughts were interrupted, the vice principal [really it was...odd] had some announcement to make. he got up on this stand so he was above everyone else and said, "have fun! get out there and always remember, abstinence!" at that, everyone rolled their eyes painfully. I realised I thought I was a bigshot at that moment and was supposed to be 20 and not even there and had already had sex. umm, what the hell? then I woke up and felt like I had been asleep for decades. it was a four hour lapse of time though.

so that's that. more updates are that, my story isn't coming along at all. I thought about naming the main character midoriko, but that seems too exotic and really, what the hell would I call the guy then? couldn't top that!!! and the names must compliment each other somehow. also, yoga web project: negative. I started on it, but barely. I typed up the schedule and my table skills suck and well, still no main layout. ebay: ooh yes! gooood. won four items in the past two weeks and got one so far. I tipped the last bidder with a $20 instead of $19.55. oooh yessssss...for that extra 45 cents I better get alittle something extra like err some drugs or something. some japanese exotic stuff [really, I'm just in a crazy state..ignore me]. love life: zero. I've given up on trying for now. me and mom discussed it....

ME:
the point is that you don't really know if someone is really interesting until you don't like them anymore. it's all blablablah. you might think they are interesting but in reality you were blindsighted. it's like, bing! they suck now! I see the light!! and then, when you don't like them you can really listen to them and know or not. they might be fascinating. who knows...

MOM:
uh huh. here we go again!

lovely isn't it? and you think I don't know how to fill up my days...


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