june 29, 2000
woo! fun with books
the barnes and noble story

10:32pm

sooo today I kept to my word [well, not that I told you guys] and went to barnes and noble which is attached to starbucks. whatever. we stepped in there for two seconds [more on this later]. I was dressed yesterday and ready to go to the mall or whatever, and they misunderstood that they were supposed to come back for me, sooo they came back at around 9pm. I was soo upset I was seething with anger and tears were coming into my eyes. I'm not sure what came over me, but I bet it had to do with pms and the chemicals in my brain. I calmed down once lindsey turned off the s club 7 crap she was playing.

I did keep a straight face and not even one laugh outta me during daria to show I was serious. I seriously was hurt and they said that I hadn't told them that I wanted to come. oooh really?? I thought they told me to take a shower and they'd come get me afterwards. I thought it was all clear, but apparently not. when they asked lindsey whether I was coming and she had said no, I thought that had to do with the eating portion of the day. I mean, how was I supposed to know that that one comment could change everything? I was left with no food [since I thought I was at least getting a sub which I requested] and sorta grumpy. I tried to remain cheery though until it got dark and I knew the malls were closing and all that.

anyway, that is over with and it was a good thing that I took a shower since today I wasn't in the mood to take one. I just got dressed [this routine of getting ready and stuff really pumps me up..usually I stay in my lounging clothing which tires me out] and waited around for all of them to be ready. I was shaking since it was a looong time since I had really been anywhere specific. I pushed those feelings aside to please everyone and because I wanted to buy new books.

we took a few pictures on the couch downstairs in the living room reluctantly. aunt jo jo likes to take posed pictures. I'm not as big on that whole group shots where we all look fidgety. I like improv baby! anyway, I went along with it for the few we took and we were offf! the car ride wasn't too bad and it was sunny out. I took pictures [yeah, I brought the digital camera with me so I could be occupied and maybe have a slideshow which I do now [check the weblog for that. it's on the sidebar and all] of buildings from out my window. I even rolled the window down for one of them so it wouldn't be all blurred. it came out nicely. the pointy building was taken from the other side of the car so that one was rather hard to get and lindsey's hand became in the way when I was taking it. I had to act fast though since we were moving.

we soon got there and I took more photos as we went in. I got abit faintish from the weather and not having had anything to drink since sailor moon hour. anyway, me and lindsey split up from the adults and headed for the music area at the back of the store. they actually had some good cds unlike the last time I had been there and all they had was classical, jazz [nothing against that or anything] and crappy mariah carey pop. okay, sooo we searched there for along time in the pop rock section. I was searching for a perfect circle - mer de noms frantically with no luck. I saw pearl jam and all of that and no perfect circle? what the hell?? it just seemed odd. we asked the guy at the register and he said the computer file said they had four but they were nowhere to be found. maybe they had four out of all the b&n stores in the area. it could be possible. anyway, I ended up getting moby - I like to score instead since I listened to some clips off catherine's music section the other day. I also found this group called fugazi that I had only heard of in mention, never actually heard their music and thought it looked interesting. I had heard they were like the get up kids, but oooh nooo [once I had gotten home, I listened to it and it was too hardcore for me. nothing like the get up kids..the last song was okay though. it was slower]. lindsey half dared me to buy it to see what it was like; I put it down once but then decided to get it instead of frente since it wasn't the one with the horrible song on it. I paid for those two albums and while they were still searching for a perfect circle in concern, I told lindsey I was going on my own [oooh freedom!] to look at books while she paid for her cds.

I found the fiction literature section quite easily with not so much panic which was a shock for me. I usually panic and can't read signs correctly since my eyesight gets bad when I'm squinting and sweating. anyway, I found it, and I found all the books I had on my list soo I had to choose which I wanted more. I ended up with one coupland book, jitterbug perfume by tom robbins and about a boy by nick hornby. uhh yeah, I forgot the name of the first book..something gen x. it has a coool ass cover. I paid for my books after me and lindsey took the photos in the aisle I happened to be in when she found me. that was rather fun. this lady kept walking around us trying to look at the books. we were causing quite a disturbance with that camera..lemme tell ya.

I began to panic just abit and my feet hurt from my crappy slide shoes that I kept kneeling in frequently and we found the adults by the magazines. one lady wanted me to reach for a magazine for her. I sorta said I couldn't reach it and mom intervened saying we were both short but there was a stool right there..hah! we went to starbucks after all of this while lindsey got her drink and we sat at a table to wait. that's when I found that picture on the wall that I wanted to take a picture of; people kept walking in front of it soo I got all finicky and kept whispering how they should move since they could see I wanted a picture of it. the people seemed to move slower too; argh! I finally was able to catch it and it turned out pretty nicely. we waited on aunt jo jo who didn't happen to be with grandma and mom and I began to panic. I said she better hurry up and all this blablabla crap. I say dumb things when I'm freaking out. I was happy that I had bought something though. that usually keeps my spirits halfway up.

the ride home wasn't bad at all like it usually is. we chatted about certain things and about the pool and if we were going to end up going there before the end of their vacation. we just might but it didn't happen tonight like we thought. it woulda been fun to sneak out there at night..wowee. water glowing in the moonlight sounds nice. anyway, lindsey wanted to eat at ninfas [apparently tori amos' favourite restaurant. I didn't know this..or I did and forgot] and I suggested the taco platter since I used to eat there. I wasn't in the mood though and well, I don't eat out. I have a rule against restaurants and eating out in general. sooo they dropped me off at home so I could mess around with my photos and all then they were off again.

I listened to my albums in peace while I uploaded my photos and altered them. I talked to richard for abit about my fugazi album. he told me I didn't seem like the type who would like it. he was correct for once..wow. it was okay if I want to get pissed and throw things but not a good album to listen to and daydream or mellow out to. nope, not the type. it was funny..he said it was punk rock and I didn't seem punk rock. harhar...I think the get up kids are okay though. they aren't this though..ooh no.

dad stopped by around 8pm and I seemed angry at him. really it was only after I told him to come back in an hour since they were out and I wasn't in the mood to entertain. I was about to eat and ya know...he kept asking questions which frustrated me since it was prolonging my anxiety. I was trying to calm down and I need alone time during that period. he didn't get it and he didn't even ask me what I did that day. he just yelled and said I was a nice person and should show it more to others. I swear, that was just the wrong thing to say. I am nice and it's him that grates on my nerves. I just told him a simple thing to do for me. to come back later...I just got snippy when he wouldn't oblige. he finally did leave and I thought I was going to cry since he was rather rude but I didn't.

and right now, I just fixed my slideshow and am rather smitten with things. lindsey has the cure in the stereo and everything is okay and I like it like that.


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