june 26, 2000
the delayed entry
holding breathe and waiting in panic

5:22pm

don't you hate that feeling where you're soo excited that you feel like you're going to be sick and you hold your breathe and the butterflies won't go away? that's how I feel right now, I swear. I wish I didn't since i know that this is what I've been waiting for since practically I was in kindargarten. of course, I know that now is different than then since now I panic all of the time and I'm panicking worse now. excitement can do that to me. I panic if I'm just watching tv soooo it's no surprise. I've been doing alot of pacing today and even stuck my head close to the open window so I could try to breathe...try to calm down. I don't want to feel like shit when they arrive. I'm sure their plane landed by now unless the bad weather delayed it.

yeah, it rained today. when I saw the overcast deadingly ugly sky, I expected the worst. the intercom crackled and the rain began. that was around 2pm. now it let up but everything's wet outside and it's still sucky looking and the black/gray clouds remain. this is not what I wanted lindsey's first impression of houston to be. it was damn sunny yesterday...why today? grrr I hate weather. I hope it doesn't rain all week [better not jinx it]!!

sooo I wanted to write last night, I so did, but the ftp refused to let me sign in. it kept saying undecipherable and timing out so that was that. I would have written something pissy anyway as you could tell by my last post on the weblog. I'm over it now ...seriously. it just pissed me off since it was nighttime and I had no food which makes me cranky. I wasn't even hungry but figured if I don't eat, it messes with the chemicals in my brain. I flipped half of my croissant [the one they got me at starbucks instead of "real" food; I'm over it!] on the floor by accident but it looked like I was trying to be pissy. really, it was just tough and as I gripped it with my teeth the thing flew out of my hand and landed on the floor. I laughed about that later...HAHA!!

not much has really been going on and I don't know why I decided to write this, but I suppose to express my anxiety over their arrival. they could arrive any minute depending on traffic and when the plane actually landed..who knows? I should really get out of my pjs too. too late for a shower...I took one the other day so whatever. blablabla. I better go, right. this entry really didn't say much.


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