june 18, 2000
father's day
and being in a daze


I've been so blanked out the past few days. I mean, I can't let any thoughts flow through. I've just been sitting here, eyes glued to the screen for some entertainment. days just breeze by and connect with more days till I forget that I'm even living. the only reminder is my ear; it has been itching intensely for a couple days. mom scared me by saying maybe bugs are building a nest in there and soon my brain will be gone. that would explain why I can't think and just keep wanting to dig my nail in my ear in a dazeless wonder.

today is father's day and I almost forgot. it's also grandpa's birthday. he called today or mom called him and left a message. I forget which. I wished him a happy birthday and he tried to persuade me to come back with lindsey and them on the flight back so he could see me and I could spend my summer there. I'm just not quite sure so I told him I'd think about it like a good girl. no arguing with grandpa...I just don't want him buying me a ticket just yet. it's just all really weird...I get dizzy just thinking about all of this. it's hard to believe they are even coming here for that week. and dad called from his messed up cell phone abit before grandma and grandpa's call just so we'd know he was alive I guess. his cell kept doing weird things though so mom kept hanging up on him. ooh well. he's going to the lake with some friends to go fishing I think.

I talked to grandma for awhile after grandpa was done. we talked about many many things to do with the trip. I told her of the sleeping arrangements and how they are to get here from the airport. I suggested the cab even though the last cab I was in was horrid; tailgating and me gripping the seat for dear life! of course, when grandma suggested limos and how much they cost I sorta laughed. limos are not transportation from airports..they are joyrides! you're supposed to take tours in them or go to special events or whatever well sipping champagne. not just a ride home from the airport! grandma's funny like that. I guess she's just sketchy about the cabs and she has a right to be considering. some are rather weird. those cabbies with their weird smells and their bad driving habits. anyway, limos cost about $200 and cabs cost about $40-50 so the choice is there.

I heard from grandpa that lindsey wants to go swimming and I did bring up that point with mom the other day about the pool across the street. the key to it costs $15, but mom might just get it. I wouldn't be swimming since I can't, but I can sit there and watch or talk or whatnot. I do need some sun since I'm looking purplish ghastly pale. weird. I'm flourescent see-through cool. aaah!

sooo yes, me and grandma had a great chat about what's up and everything seems nice and confirmed. flight arrives monday, june 26 at 5pm at intercontinental airport I suppose since that's the one we use. I told grandma that that was rush hour!! she told me that by the time they gather up their luggage and all that, it won't be as congested on the freeway. she better hope so since the traffic can last awhile during after work hours.

ya know what I realise I want? I want a blogger t-shirt just so I can be geekier than I already am! aaah...I want to fit in with the cool kiddies who wear their net company shirts. not that I belong to the company but I damn well use it with persistance. I've slacked off though because of those mixtapes [aaah 90 min. perfection // still needs to be mailed next week] and dazed out at benbrown.com reading daily text for the past year of archives. ooh yeah. those are my excuses for blanking out and not writing anything and basically being a robot.

what did you expect? that I was making fancy shmancy inventions and going to parties? pah!

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