june 05, 2000
hypothetical scams and tribulations
and fun in music playlists


so, what would you think happened if the backdoor to the garage is wide open, there are three notices on the door for fed ex pickup, old newspapers piled up outside and a strange smell coming from within? you might think something was going on. I find it very, very strange and had been coming up with my own stupid conclusions with mom earlier. I figure that maybe they killed their dog who yipped all the time up until a week or so ago and ran for the border or maybe some serial killer came and killed them and their dog, but they were too stupid to clear the suspicious evidence. there's also the thought that they killed themselves which mom brought up [she thinks this is a better conclusion so we won't feel unsafe]. I also thought that maybe one of them has night terrors and in their sleep went crazy ..um, possibly stabbing someone and howling off into the night, but I would have heard something like that, well, mabye not. I think this is pretty humorous right now, but I'm really feeling awkward. hopefully no one is dead in that house and everything turns out to be a false alarm. we always had strange neighbors who did suspicious things...like the lady who wouldn't let me have cheetos [kills herself with a blowdryer cord in a closet a week or more later], the drugdealers at the end of the block who always had new boats and cars, the dad of the retarded girl who accused my dad of stealing his guitar. I'm not sure what that was all about. anyway, this is all weird...maybe we're cursed to live near strange people.

moving on...that subject is freaking me out.

there was a contest on 107.5 the buzz today and I decided I'd play along, knowing I wouldn't win the $1000. the name of the game is fast cast rewind and to win you must name all the titles of the songs and the artists in the order they are played and be the tenth caller to win the $1000. if you get it wrong the money is added on to the next time they play [which is weekly] and it adds up to $2000. anyway, this is what I wrote down:

1) sounds like pearl jam ??
2) ten days late - third eye blind
3) heart shaped box - nirvana
4) down - stp [stone temple pilots]
5) one?
6) automatic - collapsis
7) don't worry - bob marley ??
8) voodoo - godsmack
9) everlong - foo fighters
10) run like a river ??
11) give it away - red hot chilli peppers

obviously I didn't win [I didn't even call in, but I still kept writing the titles down] since I missed four of them. I was really stumped. here are the answers to the ones I missed, but hey!! I did know the name of one and what the others sounded like. that's something!! :

1) yellow ledbetter - pearl jam
5) one - creed
7) three little birds - bob marley
10) one tree hill - u2

sooo that was fun. shows how much I know about music..heh.

I read a quote in my book [memoirs of a geisha] last night that made me shed a tear and feel lonely, so I think I'll share: "Most nights when I lay on my futon I was sick with anxiety, and felt a pit inside myself as big and empty as if the whole world were nothing more than a giant hall empty of people."
I'm not sure what it was about it, but it made me feel alone...just the whole context of it and the fact that I was indeed alone in my room. it was, of course, 3am so where else would I be? I'm not sure. I usually don't make sense at these times, but I just knew I should share the thought anyway. my mind is all scattered, so I can't write about one thing right now.

I just finished talking to grandma a half an hour ago. I asked when lindsey and aunt jo jo were thinking of coming down here since it is the start of summer as hard as that is to believe. at least for me since time seems to not have much meaning to me than a date. anyway, she said that they were discussing it for reasonable dates and that she'd look into airline tickets for the best days. yeah, grandma said she might come, too if they go, so that would be fun. oooh that's what I need..a bit of hope, some good people around me to make me feel better when I feel lost. I do try to hide the fact that I have no real plans and reading this book just makes it all come to life since the girl in the book talks about the future. aaah...what a black devoid hole of darkness. I'm such a drama queen and of course, always a pessimist.

I told her about the police coming by here to talk to mom about the people next door. she suspects they just went on vacation and forgot to shut their doors. it sounds logical but why would they leave their doors open? hmm... I just don't want any disasters occuring right now. I have enough on my mind.

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