february 05, 2001
who mentioned porn?
and being secretive - natch!


I got abit too chatty chatty yesterday and mentioned to mom that I caught a porn on one of the signature hbo channels a few times. the reason this subject came up in the first place was because she said on channel 11 [an unknown channel; *shrugs* I don't even have it programmed] they were showing something naughty where the woman was topless. it was supposedly fuzzy though.

I just had to jump in and tell my story. here it is:

me: I got a rather interesting movie a few times on one of the hbo stations. I'd only flip to it for a few seconds each time..it was like really bad acting, ya know? an office scene..

mom: oh yes! I know the type!

me: anyway, like I said, really bad... the guys would talk like they were stupid. what were they doing at that high established office building when all they can say is, "duude, so I'm bringin' the women over tonight! you comin'?" [say it all slow-like...like you are having trouble remembering your lines; blank expression] and the other guy would say, "naaah maaan."

mom: ::laughing::

me: so they played some really cheesy music [I sing it] doo doo dooo da da da da..doo doo dooo. and yeah, the women in the office showed cleavage and wore thongs. they acted really bubbly like they didn't have any brain cells. one guy dropped his papers and the girl would say, "ooh let me get that for you.." and she'd lean over in her short skirt..

mom: well, the women on this show were topless! [she seems shocked by it]

me: oh yeah, later on they get topless in this one too and show other areas...uh huh..

mom: [interrupts] well, on Sex and the City they showed other areas too! [seems really shocked] I was shocked! remember? [makes hand motions to the lower area with disgusted look] all of it? in that shower room. well, at least they were doing normal things..

me: well, it's on hbo, too, ya know? I hear on Oz they showed the frontal guy region too!

mom: and people thought dennis franz showing his ass on NYPD Blue was bad!

me: yeah, well that's cause that was on network television..anyway, back to the show..one even had a whip. then they teach the one how to strip and give lap dances for the guys in the apartment and they just sit there with their beers and say, "awww riiight..duuude!! yeaaah! [gives high fives]"

mom: ...

me: the girl they were teaching learned quickly and did little dances modestly and she was ALSO wearing a thong and all...argh!

mom: it seems like you saw more than just a few seconds!

me: [I break into a grin and seem guilty] ooh noo this was over several viewings of it. I wouldn't just sit there for the continuation of it. it comes on alot at around 4am. I haven't seen it in awhile though.

mom: ah so, it's a regular thing...

I can't believe I said all that to my mom...I swear. I need to stop drinking carbonated beverages at night. I couldn't shutup! probably next I would be admitting to naughty thoughts or cyber sex when I was 15 but it was all in fun, ya know? hell, I probably already told her and don't remember. I've got to put masking tape over my mouth next time.

I have to keep a secret for another week or so. it is killing me to do so, but it's mom's bday this saturday the 10th. I didn't ask, but I got her something. I thought it would be nice that way. she was asleep and didn't know what I was doing in here that past saturday night. I just want to brighten her day even if it is expected of me to get her a present, I don't always do so. it's with my own money despite it being on the credit card. we got a joint account for now. it's nice since my checks can be cashed now. at least temporarily.

I already told the weblog what I got her, but I shouldn't broadcast it everywhere. at least on the weblog, once it goes off the front page, she won't even dare to investigate the archives. I don't think she goes here either, but I'll keep my mouth shut. it's good that way anyway. I've got to learn to do it more often.

another secretive thing is my confused thoughts concerning FB. now it seems someone else likes me, but I doubt in any serious way. I don't even consider it a decision on who to choose since obviously FB is always my one and only who got eaten up and it's not his fault he couldn't find his shoes either. I'm rambling with the inside jokes we've discussed on what happened to him. at least no one is blaming me for his death like with dino. ya see??? I didn't lock him in the freezer!! morbid people, sheesh.

and since everyone knows I can't keep a secret, it's not possible I could've done anything to FB either [plus, he hasn't been over to visit so that's another reason why] or it would've been out by now. *zip*

now, it's time to get my carbonated beverage oooon....and make sure I don't say another word outloud tonight.

previous // next // history

All Writing/Images Copyright 2000-01 Amber.
sardonic-hee enterprises