My mind is certainly slipping. it's one of those days; for one, the ball does not drop at midnight our time in Times Square; it drops at 11pm cause of the time difference. what a way to end the year! wheee!

We Dance To The Beat of Our Own Black Hearts
11:27 PM CST

Beyond that mishap of not recalling at all, it's basically time for the usual editing marathon of not so fun excitement.....


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First off, let's start off with the year in review which isn't much considering I didn't accomplish much:



*finally got my hair cut in a salon after a long while in March

*changed the forum layout and learned alot o' hacks ..that was exciting

*started my routine of reading outside in the patio chair which I hadn't used since I got it on my bday the previous year

*had a long session of 'sick' sessions - the usual, 'may die; don't feel great' moods

*finally got to meet a certain someone after what felt like many years

*fixed myself abit and wasn't as scared of death in general; I used to think about it too often like I was extremely old or something

*went to B&N thrice during the summer which is quite an accomplishment in terms of going somewhere a certain amount of times in succession since well, high school (I went to the mall every weekend back then, okay?). once was to use my gift card, secondly to finish off my gift card, and thrice-ly, when lindsey and them were visiting as a means to funtimes

*went downtown in August after not seeing it since well, that cab ride from the airport almost three years ago; I don't count that though cause we didn't explore the streets, we just saw the outline as we erm, zoomed past it

*tried to continue going out in small amounts by visiting the pool every so often up till it got too cold

*gave up (not on purpose; just something that occurred over months of just not desiring the need to go anywhere) therefore spending numerous amounts o' time inside; only stepping outside to get packages and on the back porch area occasionally

*continued listing stuff on eBay to make some money

*got kissed!

*annnnnd now I sit here feeling just atad better; just atad


Okay, time to end this section....edits...


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Resolutions start to seem silly after awhile; I recall last time I apparently broke two right after the new year began which wasn't good. still I feel the need to list a couple things anyway and if they don't work out, I won't shoot myself mentally:



*continue to attempt to gain weight; only enough so that I do not have to wear a belt geek-style (tied really tightly and high up thus geek-like) ...I guess 5lbs would do

*after reading the last one, I don't know that I should even write this, buuuut somewhat fix my sleep schedule; just enough so that I don't exceed 6am; that shouldn't be that hard!

*still try to go out abit; at least to get my haircut and such if nothing else

*don't overreact to one little thing considering it most likely is a joke even though it's hard to analyse text online with no emotion; just a reminder ....still may be hard during hormonal times, but try to ease up; stress can put a damper on health

*update the frikkin' layout sometime this century; even if it's not the dream layout - the digicam can take decent enough pictures to work with in a photo program!

*write in a paper journal again; the censoring of this journal may be causing undue stress on occasion and perhaps a cleansing of thought on paper would work

*continue to attempt to make money

*gain more experience maybe? *grin*


time to edit again....


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Okay, there's not much time left now (11:56pm) ....basically I still have no idea of my direction or whatever. whenever I make goals or do stuff, I point it as a marker of achievement that means I can die now at any point and be okay cause maybe I cheered people up and shouldn't screw things up by continuing to live. it's all theoretical (spellcheck says this is correct yet I say 'hrm') really though. I never do die or want to die. I just feel if I was ran over by a car or if a plane crashed the house, I'd be okay with it. I never do make goals that can extend my reason to live if that makes sense. ya know, higher education, job, purpose. all of that seems too final. blargh.

Anyway, I'm not sure what clock to follow now; (11:59 on the computer, 11:58 on the VCR and I have no idea what in the other room) ...I guess I'll end it now though this seems really bleak. I'm not depressed. I should make more final goals though. I guess one day I'll get there if a plane doesn't crash the house first.

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