Abit ago I had some wild rice soup and pretended it was wedding soup. one of the pieces of chicken looked like a crouton if I focused really closely.

Standing On This Frozen Lake
06:27 PM CST

Yeah, so today is abit bland. actually the most fun was my dream where I had a cell phone and left it on a shelf in a store all lonely and abandoned. I don't know either.

Mom did try to make it more festive by giving me a magazine seeing as I already opened all my gifts this past week. I guess that was a bad idea. I just figured xmas would still be joyful without the need to open more gifts. I mean, I got most of what I wanted anyway except the fact that so far I only got two albums which is amusing considering music seems to be the thing I'm most into lately. I'll probably get those other two I saw missing from my wishlist sometime in the next week or two; I'm still curious who those are from now that dad mentioned he didn't get me any cds. weird.

I'm wearing my goth tee and looking rather gloomy again. wahoo! at least it was sunny and xmas miracle upon miracle the tv picture in here has been in focus the whole time I've been awake. that's a record since it started breaking down! now watch it blank out again.


Yesterday I was rather cheerful though mom didn't notice cause dad was pissing her off agian. I didn't notice the pissed offedness though cause when I'm cheerful the whole world seems cheerful till someone tells me to go to hell I guess [not that anyone did, mind you; I'm just sayin' there are limits to my blind eye towards bad vibes when I'm in a good mood]. I'm sensitive like that.

The reason for the joy? I reached my goal from a couple entries ago! the get kissed before the new year one, yeah. yessuh. IT WAS TEN TIMES BETTER and therefore I'm satisfied. it is too bad that now I feel that feeling you might experience if you were to have a handful of chips, the bag is empty and you want more yet there's a blockade to the supermarket. well, whatever. I need to refocus my mind away from those thoughts.

Speaking of such, I've been keeping the secret from mom very well. she has no idea and it's not like I'll say anything now though I suck at keeping secrets. really, no one should tell me anything cause I'll find someone to tell it to even if it's some stranger. the main point is that mom doesn't know and that's a record. one person even told me I was sneaky. if I was sneaky, I would've had a plan. plans like on soap operas that backfire and end up with fights! okay, well, whatever. it's just luck; not sneakiness.


I spoke to my one cousin on dad's side who I hadn't talked to in awhile last night which was pretty cool. I'm glad he has AIM now so I don't have to go on ICQ as often (not that I have been checking except maybe every couple weeks where it's too late for many to be on anyway). I did check over there last night and saw ethan's SN online. I just gave a short greeting. I do wish we still talked more often; he should get AIM!


My neck hurts again ...plus I cannot lift my arm. I don't know how I've been sleeping, but it must be very uncomfortable ..sheesh! I am not that weak! anyway, merry xmas. I'll probably watch dvds in abit here; once my foot unfalls asleep ..stupid foot.

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