Ever get that feeling where you can see everything so clearly then all of the sudden you're subjected to just yelling out one word like "Lotus! Lotuuuus!!" over and over again abolishing all other vocabulary for some time? Yeah, that happens to me alot lately.

It's All a Foregone Conclusion to You
11:53 PM CST

The joy in talking hasn't been there that much all week seeing as everything comes out only halfway there. it's as if I'm talking from a distance out of my body if that makes sense. I'm sort've sick of talking about my ear though. it's just people seem to always ask me about it. there's nothing I can honestly do about it beyond what I've been doing, so that's all that should be said. I will let y'all in on a secret in case you haven't read the other billion sites about it - vinegar? it stops the pain. if you have an ear problem and it hurts like knives are stabbing it over and over again? just drop some vinegar and warm water in then go to sleep on a hot water bottle. I swear by morning the pain will be gone. I'm unsure if it clears blockage since so far it still sounds like static there.

The past two mornings, I've woken up to find that my cotton isn't there. mom actually tore apart my room at 2:30 baffled by this occurence. I joked that I probably stuff the cotton into my ear when I'm sleeping and that's why it's still blocked. of course, later I just had to test it out, but ya know, not actually getting it stuck in there. it seems quite impossible to stuff one in and even if it was sort've possible, I think I'd wake up if I was jamming it in like that. ew.

I asked mom if I should try an experiment. perhaps I should tape the cotton to my ear and see if it disappears or not wear one at all and see if my ear seems clearer ...um, I'm not sure what this'll prove, but I'm curious.


During the week, something major happened. our car got totalled around Tuesday. mom changed the direction to go home from her class since this lady was taking up the passing lane since she realised she couldn't make the light. she couldn't back up alllll the way considering the other cars moved up with her, so she was right smack dab in the middle of the road. when the light turned green, there was no way to go around her, so mom turned right down another road. suddenly, she found herself behind this vehicle (forget what kind) with a bed sticking out of the back. mom was slightly scared about the bed's metal and it hopping out onto the road. anyway, suddenly that vehicle stops and so mom stops behind her since she is not in a hurry. mom doesn't like to try to go around at all. she'd probably stay there allll night if the car never moved. well, suddenly out of nowhere she hears the screeching of tires behind her and BAM! her glasses are knocked off her face and she bangs into the steering wheel and crashes into the back of the vehicle with the bed. this causes great damage to the front and back bumpers (I got to see it in the garage that day; the lights were dangling and well, eck ....it pained me to see it like that). the other person was a teen in a truck. he had some younger friends in the car with him. he apologised sayin' he'd get rid of his truck and he knew this would happen. apparently he's not a very good driver? heh.

Mom actually drove the damaged car to her classes and the post office that whole week praying to make it home without the car breaking down. that must've been horrible. ya see, she knew our insurance didn't cover rental cars and she wasn't sure if the kid's insurance would cover it. later on, she found out it would. the lady with the bed in the back of her vehicle called once cause she was concerned. mom still has pain in her sternum from banging into the steering wheel like that. I'm not sure what it could be; a pulled muscle or a big ass bruise. she won't let me see. they asked if she wanted to go get it checked out at the scene that day, but she declined. she hates doctors for the most part and just wanted to go home. she actually said she was whimpering and acting all disoriented repeating home in her head. awwww. and what was I doing? well, asleep with my deaf ear. that's what. sheesh.

Finally, this past Saturday, dad brought her to the dealership to see if they could fix the little red car (what mom offhandedly has called our Geo Prism for years). that same day another lady brings in the same type of car same year, but different colour. she was trading it in for a 2002 model of some sort. this brought mom some relief. this MUST be fate, ya know? how does that happen? she was so worried and yet another car that looks almost the same just falls into her lap! this car cost 5K and she isn't sure what they'll settle for payment yet which is the only scary part. the credit was lowered to 12,800 instead of 17,000 and we only have $200 left before it's maxed out. this is not good. no, that's bad. anyway, we're hoping since it's around the same and it wasn't mom's fault on the accident, that they'll break off some sort of deal. she hasn't gotten the papers in the mail yet. I'm hoping things work out.

I took some pictures of the *new* car for the hell of it:

awww little grey car is the name I've decided it must have

um, I never said I was good at taking pictures

yet another view

While I was taking these photos on the almost dead pen cam, some jogger walked by and stared at me. well, okay, I just *think* she stared at me. I think everyone just stares at me. I did look ridiculous though. I'm standing there taking pictures of a car in my garage wearing a white shirt, no bra, hawaiian-looking drawstring pj shorts and my expensive brown leather sandals with the square design. might I add that I also still had cotton in my ear, a gash in my eyebrow from picking at dry skin and a big ass blemish on that side of my face that was facing outwards towards the street. see? sometimes my self consciousness isn't there at the moment, but then I look back at it and am embarassed. really, when I first saw her, I was like what??. I did stare back enough to know she was wearing a long shirt over baggy shorts and her hair in a ponytail though. I guess I'm one to talk.


On the same day we got the car, I decided I wanted to go to the pool considering, being in the stuffy house lately has made my allergies/sinuses want to combust ..as well as my ear. being outside with my manga, headphones (I got a new cd that day; a Knife in the Water album) and icey drink I never drank was pretty nice. we people watched at the round table for abit. the lady with the sunglasses on, with her arms crossed over the floatie was staring at me. gah, what is it with zee staring?!? well, okay, I'm not sure if she was staring since she had sunglasses on, but she was looking in my direction. I ignored her and went back to my naughty naughty manga. more showing of nakedness and other such comaraderie.

More and more people came while I was sitting there. I was thinking, was a pool party scheduled for today or is this just the planned time for everyone to arrive on a Saturday? I was starting to feel out of place or like we were about to have a neighbourhood pool meeting (as opposed to 'house' meeting). suddenly this black guy carrying a cooler, wearing a tank and some baggy weird lookin' shorts arrives. he dives into the pool still wearing the tank. another oddity (especially since there is no diving allowed at this pool; of course, it was barely a dive; sort've a tiny hop and splash considering it's only 5ft deep). perhaps cause he was only one of two guys in the pool where there were more girls on the other side. of course, the other guy didn't have a shirt on I don't think. I couldn't tell since he was waaaay on the other side laughing.

There were some other people over there lounging in those adjustable chairs, but I didn't stare long enough. I just paid some attention to the girls in the pool on my end. well, barely. there were little girls there too who kept hopping in and out. I finally realised the black guy must be part of their family since they eventually dried off when I was in the middle of chapter two and track five then parked it on out of there down the sidewalk I could see beyond the fence from my angle.

Towards the end of the chapter, my eyes were beginning to burn from the intense sunlight even though we had moved to the shade in the midst of all this since mom couldn't read her catalogue while worrying about her shoulders getting burned. by track seven, I said I was ready to go in since I was about done. she seemed abit disappointed, but later said she was happy I had gone considering I need sunlight every so often. she was surprised I didn't want to leave as soon as more people began to arrive. I was sort've in my own world for awhile cause I was in a good mood. all I need is a good mood to not be bothered.


Now if only I could get to a show soon. darnit! Slobberbone plays Rudyard's (I'm still sad I wasn't able to make the Sad Like Crazy show over there last Saturday due to turning down those who asked cause of the ear thing and other problems; bah) this Friday. I doubt I'll make that, but I've been curious about them ever since MATH+1 members began mentioning them. eh. we'll see.

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Are you sure it's not hentai?

- 09.24.2002 01:21 AM - Barista


Hahahahah :P
I'm quite sure! of course, if it was, the guy would be a pedophile since he *accidently* pulled down the little girl's bathing suit bottom. that made me *slightly* uncomfortable.

- 09.24.2002 01:27 AM - Amber


well than! Settles that! Whew! i was worried for a moment :p

- 09.24.2002 01:36 AM - Barista


Hee! there's no need to worry!

I'm probably already corrupted in other ways. I don't need pedophilic hentai manga for that ....well, then again...*cringe*

- 09.24.2002 01:38 AM - Amber


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