Tangents ...tangents are all I want for now considering my head is half dead.

I Now Have Enough To Buy a Bean Burrito!
02:31 AM CST

There was an elaborate dream on Thursday. richard was there even though I hadn't had a conversation with him in awhile. he must be telepathically making himself appear in my dreams! that's it! hah! I mean, hell, no one else I know has been appearing as frequently.

Anyway, it involved a date involving a themed ghostly restaurant. I'm not sure if it was part of the décor or if the place was haunted. we sat next to each other in the back. a sheet of paper was presented in front of him. I looked over as he frantically wrote. I then realised I had never actually seen him write something down. suddenly a different handwriting appeared over certain sentences. I realised it was a ghost who was helping him write what was in his head that he couldn't otherwise get out. very deep I guess. so, I looked over and noticed the bubbly big cursive letters of the ghost ....it said emotions. I then looked upward and back down to eye level. suddenly I untensed myself and read the whole sentence. it said, "I want to stop hiding my emotions" and then I looked over at him and put my head on his shoulder. he seemed to not want me to do this. he seemed well, frustrated I guess. I turned away.

There was another scene at a theatre, but I don't really recall what happened there. all that sticks out is the letter and the restaurant. weird. it seemed almost real and I seemed more tired than usual upon waking up. exhaustion.


Last night, somehow something happened to my ear. I ignored it figuring what happened last time would happen this time, but no. it's still clogged as of this very moment (sunday night/monday morning; yes, it took this long for me to edit). I think it may be a sinus problem. I'm going to make mom buy me the equivalent to drano tomorrow. I mean, sheesh! it's not fun to not be able to talk much or enjoy food since I chew on that side. I cannot hear my chewing and that causes disatisfaction. oh yes, I know, right? I wish I could let it go considering there could be worse things wrong, but it's taking over my life. I've used up waaaay too many qtips to be healthy and much clearing of my throat thinking it'll pop eventually. the ear blowing up would feel better I bet. seriously. it feels stuffed with something that isn't very fun as you can imagine.

The storm woke me up at 1pm -barely four hours since I fell asleep- the ear was still bugging me and I stood at the door thinking the window would crack. I stood there holding onto the knob of the door wondering what universe I woke up in anyway. why my ear was still making me disoriented. it hurt to swallow, too. I eventually went back to bed till 6pm with it still clogged. right now I want to shoot it right off. I hope no one gives me alarming emails about this (not that I've gotten more than mortgage spam lately). I don't want to see any doctors. ugh.


The title came about cause mom was watching an infomercial last night (before the ear disaster struck again, so I was in good spirits). she made me laugh so hard over the doubling income one. she was all, "oh yes, it worked! I've doubled my income to $2! I can buy that bean burrito now!" BWAH! I said, "you can also afford a quizno's veggie sub and a wendy's baked potato with brocolli and cheeeese"

It's pretty sad that I made more this month so far I think. I cannot spend it right now though. keeping it in the account is a good idea even if everything is tempting me lately. at least mom mentioned that everything is tempting her as well and she doesn't even shop regularly. the other day she bought the guest more goodies cause he's still healing from his heart operation. that's why he hasn't been by in awhile. I signed a card for him and inside I wrote underneath the 'hope you feel better soon!' with "so you can attempt to DESTROY more paper shredders! (this pen sucks)" then I signed my name. well, yes, the pen did indeed suck cause it refused to write on certain parts of the card, so I had to keep on going over and over the parts of the letters for it to be readable. not my best writing by far, but yeah. it was the card's weird material's fault!


Sometimes I wish I could publish something and have a movie made about it. just a random thought that is always in the back of my mind.

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