My headphones are infected with the ebola virus methinks. okay, maybe not, but I cannot listen to music till I get some disinfectant to them fast cause each time I even put them near my face, I can feel a tingly itching sensation. gaaaah. it's either the heat, someone's germs got on them and are just now affecting me cause of the heat or it's the West Nile Virus cause ya know one of those mosquitoes bit it when I wasn't paying attention.

IIIII've Got Reseeeervaaaatioooons
11:25 PM CST

The other night I had a downright long ass elaborate dream. it had parts, ya know? it started in a diner next to a lodge. the lodge's neon sign was half burnt out. I looked out then looked down at the table, noticed a salt and pepper shaker, looked down at my hands, then looked up and Richard was sitting across from me. he didn't say a word though. he just sat and stared. it seemed like one of those cool artsy indie films I always pretend I'm in and this one is reallllly artsy cause there isn't any dialogue. okay, well, things looked tense. we weren't eating. there wasn't even a drink there! no water, no nothing! we just sat and stared.

Soon enough, I'm in front of a toy store in the mall. it has those cool toys out on display for kids to interact with in the front. anywaaaay, I'm standing there and looking at the dimmed lights. it's sort've dark next to the wall next to the toy store. Richard is there, too. we're pretending we're married apparently. it's an unspoken rule that I just know. we put on some MAJOR PDA in front of the toy store. kids are coming and going. coming and going, yo. I'm grinning and we start semi-making out. well, it isn't full on...there is pausing inbetween sort've. we hold hands, my one leg is up in the air leaning towards him and grinning and then I pull away all distraught. all o' the sudden the first words of this silent film are spoken breaking the ice. he says, "I'm engaged to someone else. her name is Cecille." I saw it spelled exactly like that in my head. I felt like my heart broke in two; it was the end of the world, yo. I felt like crumpling to the ground in front of that glitzy toy store full of joyful kids and just giving up. instead my lip turned down and I gave the piercing angry look and threw something. I don't know what. maybe it was a toy. I just know I did and he stepped back abit then I ran in the other direction as fast as I could.

Soon I was in a hospital. the hallway was empty. barren. nothing there. the fluorescent lights were killing me. they were pulsating in the back of my head even if I closed my eyes. soon enough, I saw mom, but she didn't see me. she was pregnant. she was wearing a dress and her stomach bulged. she doesn't usually wear dresses. I heard her laugh and say through heavy breathing, "I hope I know how to do labor; last time it was just taken out!" much laughter between the staff as she laid down on one of those tables with the white paper ...yes. I'm so technical in my terms! okay, I started to wonder how this could be. this has happened before, too. I wondered how she could be pregnant when she's menopausal. I just shrugged and ran cause I didn't want to hear anymore and I didn't want to share.

Soon, I'm near the lodge again, but in some workshop. I'm gluing pictures of houses to some poster board in a collage-like manner. one of the women standing behind our working table comes up to me and says, "can't you do more than help the masses??" and I just stare off wondering what would happen next.


---

This morning's dream consisted of me in an abandoned house with a barn next to it. I was inside and instead of stairs there was a slide. I screamed "wheeemuthafuckaakiiinw000000teeeeee" don't ask cause I don't know either. I recall the slide was fun. I wish I had a slide instead of stairs; I'd always want to go down there.


---

In other news and great at that, lindsey will be visiting August seventh and staying for a week. that should be fuuuuun. we'll definitely have to hang out at the pool this time since we have a key. we didn't before. instead we'd just stand there and take pictures by the bars pretending to be criminals. y'all know that. wheeeeee!!!! I'm definitely ordering more albums before she arrives [definitely the new Carissa's Wierd, Wilco (which I wish I ordered this last time), Starlight Mints, Knife in the Water and any Trembling Blue Stars ...w00t!], cause uh, I dunno, in celebration of this shocking news, yeaaaah. certainly NOT cause I have an addiction. I need a music addict's anonymous patch.

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