TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT!! oh yes, there is no stopping me - I've got the info I need and I shall go for it! rahahaha!

As The Day Draws Near
11:47 PM CST

*ahem* I'm talking about Mother's Day of course. I asked mom, "say I was to need a credit card..which should I use?" and apparently using either is fine. yay! I bet she's suspicious, but whatever. she knows that I cannot just not get her a gift. there is less than a week - sheesh.


You have been forewarned

Sunday was spent sitting around watching softcore porn; I'm turning into a semi-scary (not completely since I'm not renting it and it isn't the *really* hardcore ones) dirty perv. I don't know what compels me to check the movie channel schedule and what gets me excited about it. they don't show much. just the actions bring forth images of the act. the only reason I know is cause well, I used to read an erotica journal online when I was 15 (shhhhh don't tell) and there was a section of 'video clips' possessed me to look, I don't know. I've felt awful about that ever since; not cause of the act itself, but because I was very scared of everything naughty I did then; I was afraid I'd get caught. now I just say "I'm going to watch porn!" I learn from forums methinks...the TMI is becoming a habit. must. remember. to. shut. maaahh...WHAT? we're just talkin' bout TMI! wheee! <--I'm clearly insane lately as well. TMI and perviness aren't my only qualities.

Speaking of sex [which we sort've were this time], it was brought to my attention that I may indeed not like the act when it comes right down to it, so why does it turn me on? why do I care if I'm supposed to be afraid of such acts? is indeed true that I don't know what it really would feel like in theory, but I know what orgasms feel like, so isn't that what matters in the long run? I know I'm going beyond TMI here, but anyway, I'm trying to explain why I seem to like watching NOT that I know what it would be like to actually do the act with someone. in fact, I'm completely clueless even after knowing how it's done and what happens in the end. basically watching enough to daydream can turn me on and it helps me to not get depressed and those are the times that I feel less ill, so it's a good thing, right? that totally nixes the fact that I'm being pervy, eh? eh? COME BACK HERE!!



What else have I been doing? not much though I did make a trippy cd cover today including a penguin smoking a cigarette, wearing some sort've chinese looking hat though I think it's supposed to be a straw hat and a gold chain around its neck. I'm completely serious here. it's scary. it's one of the most insane coverart photos I've used not counting the skeleton and that wasn't really scary. just trippy.

My hands are cramping, so I'm going to go order some shi0t now, so be good and I'll come back and give you candy.

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-just wanted to add that gift has been bought - yaaay! and sorry for being so extremely *odd* in this entry. as you could probably tell, I didn't have much to say.

- 05.07.2002 12:34 AM - Amber


¿Usted es manos lastimadas? Usted lo está haciendo quizá demasiado. ¿Usted lo está haciendo correctamente?

- 05.07.2002 01:16 AM - Fransisco


Wha? what am I doing too much? the hand cramp comment has NOTHING to do with the *ahem* "bad" part of the entry. and they don't hurt now - I just was typing too fast. it's fine. thanks for your concern though.

- 05.07.2002 01:54 AM - Amber


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