My feet and hands are cold. maybe I should be wearing warmer clothes or put my robe and my socks on. I'm just glued to this chair; that's what happens when I feel like an icebox. I want to bake some cookies in abit too. yes, more of them! I finished off the last batch and I gotta stick some in the gift box to the grandparents. I need some tea, too. I'm talking randomly cause I'm in a daze and can barely move.

Obligatory Post Christmas Hurrah
09:47 PM CST

tim made me a very cooool mix. I'm still listening to it for maybe the sixth time, but not all the way through; just random tracks. next time he's on, I'll have to tell him how much I liked it. it was worth the wait!! favourite track: The Anniversary - All Things Ordinary. I had heard of the group, but never remembered to download some songs. anyway, I'm enjoying my listen.

Speaking of which, I've had the urge to make another mix cd again; it has been awhile. I have a TON of mp3's on the computer (not as many as some people, but more than ever since I haven't cleared folders out in awhile), but most are just there until I buy the album cause there are too many songs I like for me to just burn em all on a mix. it makes sense in my head at least. I mean, if I put them on a mix, then I'd have the song doubletime once I get the album; that usually bothers me. I've done that toooo often. not that there's anything wrong with having the song on more than one disk. eh. I'm anal.

I also have alot of pop songs heard off the radio and other such songs that just wouldn't fit on any proper mix; just maybe all together in one of those NOW music type compilations. ugh. I just cannot get rid of them for the life of me. see? my life is hell, right?


Christmas...well, that was interesting. it didn't feel like Christmas at all really besides the gifts and specials on tv. aunt jo jo called around evening (7 or 8pm maybe?) and we got to talk abit. she could tell I sounded peppier than usual. usually allll I'd do is complain about my sinuses or feeing nauseous etcetc. this time I talked about friends, webpages, and stuff like that. I think she enjoyed my talk more now and didn't get frustrated with me. this is definitely good. I think it's a good thing for me to be content for once. it certainly helps with my relationships with people.

list of things I got:
-$2000 (which y'all know)
-Office Space (richard got me it; it's good as I've said; gonna watch it again soon)
-a robe
-two pairs of pj pants
-a pretty red sweater
-kitty sheets/pillowcases (which I've wanted forever!! still must rinse them off and put them on my bed)
-Philosophy desserts body wash set
-green tea bath set (from mom's friend; might try to sell since I take showers NOT baths)
-Rainer Maria - a better version of me
-GBA (game boy advance) w/Warioland
-pen & notepad from italy, anime companion and some Sakura trading cards from lindsey
-$25 from grandma on dad's side

I still have yet to get aunt jo jo's gifts yet; they were ordered though so I'll be getting them soon. I think I'm getting a book, dvd and some cds. oh yeah - the huuuge amount of money? the ibook still tempts me, but I've decided new pants are importanté pluuus maybe new underwear (bras included) ..yessuh. I might also get some custom made frames (or at least nice if not custom) for my cels; my walls have been bare too long. oh yeah, anime of course. I cannot live without anime. I need to buy my calendar for the new year and finish off the series' I was ALMOST done with until I got broke. rest goes in the bank. yeah, so I have plans for the money.


Oh yeah, I finally officially broke up with shaun; it was abit hard since I did it riiight on xmas..well, it was 3am on xmas. basically I said I had moved on and well, he was never around to talk to about it. I was afraid he'd want to kill himself then since I had known about his suicide thing (well, it was a shock to me when he first told me, buuut ya know..what do I know?). he did talk like that once he read my email about the subject. I kept trying to talk him out of this absurdity and that I still thought of us as friends ...then he said "have I scared you enough?" or something of the sort. I sat there wondering what he meant. apparently I don't know him well enough and that he'd never do something like that. well, that was my POINT. we never talk, so how would I know he wasn't like that? no way would I say "go ahead and kill yourself" cause I'd figure he was joking! I know not to ever second guess someone; I've read the magazines. it seemed absurd and cruel to lie about that sort've thing. I've had others do that to me too. that ain't nice to worry someone like that. being in "a mood" doesn't excuse it.

I'm just glad to get it off my chest; to not have things in the air like that. it feels good to know where we both stand and know I'm not doing anything wrong from this point forward.


I have somemore to say, but I think I'll write about it in my paper journal.

I had pizza tonight; it was tasty. hadn't ordered anything in awhile; anything not already in the kitchen wasn't eaten except if the guest was visiting. anyway, yesss...greasy goodness. my hands still smell slightly of sauce. yum *lick*

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