After last time's entry, it is just hard to go back to boring chattery, eh? probably psuedo-ly everyone's wishing my life would continue its excitement. unfortunately nothing really bigtime has happened since Saturday. I didn't end up meeting richard next and somehow I guess I didn't expect him to go with the new invite. I still feel bad about that for one reason or another. I always find a reason to feel bad even when semi-good things happen. it's a reflex of sorts.
If y'all wonder, no I really don't know what's going to happen next between me and jorge. I dunno. I hate putting labels on such things, so I'll just let it continue haphazardly and with spontaneity ...whatever. whenever I think something in my head, the opposite happens. that's just the reality of it. I spoke to lindsey about the whole "event" ....she wanted to know if I had truely broken up with shaun yet though; ya know, he might be crushed. I just figured it's over cause we hardly ever talk, there's no real way to contact him (sending a letter about it seems tooo tacky/rude/slow and no phone number), I said I wanted to be his friend and um I basically said I didn't know how I felt about him anymore in that sense. I mean, I have lost the feeling. that's all there is to it. nothing is wrong with him inparticular besides the 1000 mile distance and the lack o' talking.
So, yes, I'll keep my feelings to mahself for now about any future happenings. feh. feelings just cause draaaama. I may be alll about creating it, but I think it may be getting old. who knows. it's tiring to always talk in siiighs (outward or inner) and see beyond face value and fight and have something going on all the time. I never thought I'd say that. I do like the attention though occasionally.
Present buying will be done tonight or tomorrow night most definitely. I'm getting tired of putting it off really. I always say I'm going to do it and then end up staring at a forum for hours till I realise it's late and I don't feel like even filling out a form. I know what I'm supposed to buy or at least the genre from which I'm buying it, so this shouldn't be that hard. I just need to bring the motivation to me or something.
it's realllly bad when I don't even want to download music anymore cause it takes tooo much effort to go to audiogalaxy...HAH! I just put the albums on my wishlist. bah. I'm funny. it's laughable that I'm actually getting in a tizzy cause I'm too lazy to download some illegal music, but NOT to put it on my wishlist to be bought! at least the so-called record companies will be proud though the music I like is mostly indie, so fuckity doo (I just said this to myself when I stopped to go downstairs and heat the tea up as I was pouring the sugar in. I don't know why, but it made me laugh, so I had to say it. sorry).
Speaking of which, he grillled me last night over the whole jorge visit and wondered what the hell happened to Will ...it seems the guest formed a bond and wanted it back :\ awwww...those sad puppy dog eyes .....I put his mind at ease by sayin' I still talked to him (Will) and would tell him he (the guest) said hi.
Oh yeah, and is it just me or is touch wanted more once you've had some? quite distressing, but better than some feelings. with that I drink.
tell leonard i said hi. oh yeah no steady net connection yet. working out the bugs. *happy about jorge*
08:48 PM - will
hee! okay, I should check comments before replying to email next time :)
and yessuh thanks, y0!
he wants me to help him cheat on the quiz thingie later when he gets to work though. hell nooo! *giggles*
08:54 PM - Amber
The lip gloss is for the past and the present -- especially in regards to adventures involving lips. I don't know about the cup and bowl; I'd suppose that's some kind of Finnish mobster gift. [grin]
12:36 AM - indi
wow, ya think the guest would know? :P heh heh ...I played coy
he got a kick out of the finnish thing. I told him about that. *g*
01:39 AM - Amber
I wrote my notes down on post it notes. ummm you touched me first, heheh i just gave in *big slut huh*. the remote moved the bed and hit me with the edge so i just started playing with the laptop to get my mind of the remote i should have never tried to touch it, i learned my lesson now. I really didnt notice when you was blacked out and when you wasn't but i guess it was when you did say a word and i was talking, or maybe those nice quiet moments? well only you would know the answer to that. and i got your hair stuck in my mouth cause i was trying to bite you as i was leaving. heheh I'm hire in the food chain, get in my belly ;=) *thought it would be funny*
02:10 AM - whorhed
oooh I'm soooo totally the seducer, eh? eh?
sometimes I don't know when I blank out until someone mentions something I don't remember or have trouble remembering it all or if it really happened. eh. I liked the silent moments though :)
I should try to shutup more often.
and bite me? hee! that is rather cuuuute funny. I think I do recall you sayin' "I want to eat you" but I dunno if that was my imagination or not. *shrugs*
02:18 AM - Amber
Girl, I bet perfect strangers could pass you on the street and know what you've been up to. Didn't you see Mallrats? Don't you know about The Glow?
04:40 PM - indi
oooh yeaaah I definitely have The Glow...I feel oh so much better since then.
surprisingly, mom hasn't noticed it and doesn't know of what went on ...she actually said "I guess he's okay..for a friend..yeah" when I asked what she thought. feh.
11:33 PM - Amber