05:14 PM CST
It was rather sad that the card said "without you at thanksgiving...(turn to inner portion of card) ..there's alot less to be thankful for." awww, that made me shed a tear y'all. sure made me feel all guilty for cheering over the cash before reading. whenever there is money, I read the card second. just tradition..just tradition (though I certainly wasn't expecting it for this holiday as I said).
Mom got a separate card with money as well, but also a notice that Rodger died at the beginning of November. I remember him and got abit teary eyed; I mean, I don't normally think about him, but me and lindsey did used to go over there when we were little. I remember we'd feed the birds. November is quite the month for sorrow. I swear. there's quite enough of it. I mean, I didn't all out baaaawl over this announcement. he was supposedly put in a home for being in bad shape and there was no word of him for awhile. it's just saaad in general. I mean, hearing anyone you remember spending time with sometime in your life having died. no matter if it was their time or if they were in bad shape. maybe when you think about it, not being around at certain times can affect the mood cause maybe you'll start to be thought of less and one day it'll be too late....ugh I need to slow my roll right here....though I did cry more over the end of Squishy. I really am cold hearted and a bitch, eh? haha.
Tomorrow I get my stuffing and mashed potatoes!!! for real, I made mom buy some since when it was mentioned I realised that would be pretty good and at least it woud show some interest in the holiday; otherwise, it'll just be like any other day, but with erm parades and more people at home making racket outside. and the kids. ughugh. I hear them already.
I gained yet another pound as well. I'm well on my way to the goal; I'm probably the only one who wants to gain weight or who has a goal of what I want to gain. most have goals to lose weight; if I lost weight, I'd turn into nothingness probably. well, at least if I lost more than ten pounds...seriously.
A cold front has pulled through; I actually used the blanket that usually lies dormant on my bed; just being shoved over by anyone who wants to sit down there. my hands are going numb right now and my feet are icy; eck. I wish I had a different colour of polish to paint the toenails besides the silver that is there right now. the silver just makes em look more pale with the coldness. I want black! I want black polish! mom thinks that's abit extreme. eh, I already wore lavender and violet. I want black! maybe I'll ask for xmas since I sure as hell don't spend my money on that sort've thing.
The Obligatory Thankful List from My Head:
-that I have a house I like and it's paid for without having to work for it (well, that's sort've a semi-thanks since most would yell that ya should work for what ya have; I just haven't had to...yet)
-that I have a mom and she cheers me up and even when she's in a bad mood, I'm glad she's here
-my health (sort've...I'll ignore my sinuses/allergies/stomach ailments/etcetc...basically I'm still alive, so that's something)
-extra cash to buy things I want even when I keep wanting more; most have none
-friends who I can talk to about my inane problems over and over again...and then when ya think I'm done, again the next day
-food ...food is good
-those who like me though I couldn't make a decision if my life depended on it
-books and music cause without those diversions, I would've ripped my hair out a looong time ago
-a nice view of the skyline from my computer chair; all ya need is atmosphere and a roof over your head, yo
Ya know, I'm starting to get sick of not thinking about romance though (yes, it's only been a few days); I want a peacoat and a walk in the park and for my sinuses to go away and for someone to hold my hand. I should turn into someone else and live somewhere else if I want that. and I guess I should still be thankful they miss me and I have $30; I'll buy a dvd to keep me company.
Song of the Day: Chicago at Night by Spoon (cause it's in my head!!!)
Album to Buy: Girls Can Tell
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