Yesterday I spent most the day in my room thanks to my stomach which is still semi-acting up today though not as much. I watched all of Adult Swim and read a chapter or two in the book club book, and listened to some music. after that I took a shower and came back online around 2am abit more rejuvenated. I don't think I've ever spent so little time online, but whatever. I mean, I wrote that entry that I tried to remember from memory, but after that, my time online was nonexistant.

Don't Say a Word
09:16 PM CST

Sometimes things just seem so hopeless, I start to feel useless. I just hate when my body acts up cause I then start to think to the future; how maybe my actions won't be explainable enough to be dealt with 24/7 by anyone else, but family. then I start to imagine living here for the rest of my frikkin' life. it doesn't seem like the best solution to avoid looking like an ass.

Another thing I realise is that I talk in riddles sometimes. alot of people start to not get a word I'm sayin' cause my thoughts are jumbled and cryptic. I can talk for hours and sometimes still am not understood. maybe it's cause I don't want them to understand on one level. I mean, somethings I get angry cause they don't get it, but other things I just need to voice my opinion on, but yet be allusive.

Augh! I dunno what I'm really saying. all that matters in this whole discussion is that when my stomach hurts, I get entirely too self conscious even when I'm alone. I start to think of how I'd react if I wasn't which is bound to happen and probably has though mostly around family. I just hate feeling sick. damn sinuses.


Mom wants to work at Bally's and instruct a yoga class or two. they apparently won't call her back after that drug test she had to take in Sugarland a few weeks ago. I doubt anything was wrong with it; maybe they don't plan on hiring her. who knows. she called the lady back on her (the lady's) cellphone (the one that calls no one back) after calling the place in Sugarland to find out what was up (since they said to contact her). this all seems very complex. what horribly bad luck mom has with finding work in yoga - I mean, incompetant people are hired all. the. time. now apparently! mom says they're good leaders, but it's not yoga and ya don't tell beginners to do headstands! hah! she said one overweight woman in the class kept falling all over herself and her mat. the instructor just said that wasn't a good idea, but didn't try to stop her. sheesh! and another lady was having an intense conversation on her cellphone on her mat on the other side of mom. if there are instructors with classes like that, mom should be able to get a job since she actually understands the whole concept of yoga! I mean, she's been doing it since oh man. maybe I should try to get a job in yoga if they're looking for no experience since I suck.


Pralines&Creme Dessert Bliss Pepperidge Farm cookies are good, y'all! you should try them ...or don't if you're on a diet. I dunno. I looove the crunchy bits on top; pure dream food.


And now I rub my eyes and dream about when me and shaun can be together since it's the one good thing going on and hope I don't get a stomach ache when it happens.

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