Today, I did nothing fun inparticular. I even feel like hell cause of yesterday's hard work without thinking. I should think damnit!! and oh yeah, I peeled my ingrown toenail, that was growing something that resembled a garden green scab, into oblivion.

stiiicky with anticipation
11:16 PM CST

This ...this sucks that all I do everyday is the same. I even take the same paces to my bed at night and when I wake up. same things. I expect to have my water and vitamin c drops while watching Blind Date. I expect to be watching cartoons on UPN at 2:30-3:30 and then switching to Fox Family and then switching to Cartoon Network. I've got my schedule memorised. some days still are better than others. I've got to admit. sometimes something does surprise me and I've got to take a step back cause things like that just don't happen.


Now, now, I wish something exciting would happen at some point without me having to think. getting an occasional letter or email or message of support is nice to wake up to, but I'm talking about someone stopping by after a long time or someone calling like the "Telephone Woman" in the book I'm currently reading. soommetthing to make me have an exciting trip (whether real or imaginary).


I'd really like to see Dino. I keep repeating that alot. I searched and realised I mentioned Dino about three times and the word 'love' four times. or at least in terms of entries. I might've said the words more than once in those particular musings. I'm just sayin' I need to STOP IT. I might as well fess up to myself that nothing of the like is going to happen and if it does, I'll be incapable of doing anything or I got over them; plain and simple. nothing ever works out how it should. even when I do get over them, doesn't mean they stop by later on. they never stop by, but I'm just sayin' I wouldn't be as happy if they did. I have the mind to make romance, but not the means to do it. I'm pathetic, y'all.


I keep saying the wrong words too. that's one thing different; well, in a way that I'm saying things that mom takes seriously and is worried about. I try to correct my mistake and just make it worse like when she said she returned the bathing suit she showed me yesterday. *ahem* I said that was good cause it just made her look stalkish and she deserved better. she took this to mean that she was chunky and walked off in a huff before I could correct it. before that, I made remarks about her leg being huge and her arm feeling nice and cushiony for my foot to rest on. someone needs to tape my mouth shut and never let me speak again. I need restraint...quickly!


Ya know, sometimes I think even accidently teasing mom will get to be a routine. it's starting to at least. I mean, I come in here when she's on the computer in the afternoon and I begin to bug her like that. I never used to; I'd stay in my room and snack or read or do something else. now I just stick about knowing that if mom did this while I was working, I'd be ticked off. she never seems to be though; at least not openly till I start the teasing. today we drooled over some clothing, so I think all will be well.


Opening date still cornered for the fourth. I'm semi-excited to reveal this treasure. have people comment and then I can actually note people like happens on Squishy and they can all be envious of each other and try to make noted comments on purpose afterwards to get where their friend was or whatever. I'm just sitting here dreaming that's how it'll be. for all I know either only friends will comment and it won't at all have to do with the topic at hand like the test comments or no one will comment at all and I'll have to take the noted comments field down. I'm so paranoid it's crazy. I must CALM DOWN!


Oh yeah, by the way, it's hotter over here, I sweat alot more and my throat and ears are raw..shouldn't have eaten those Oreos either. I'm paying for it now - miss clammy hands.

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