Late at night while laying in bed, I've heard a cat moaning outside. it sounds close enough to be right next to the window. rather creepy in a way. then mom mentioned the cat in the garage while getting the mail; I wonder who it belongs to and why I've never seen it.

Add Another Line to My Wishlist
12:25 AM CST

That's the biggest mystery or drama I am dealing with now. reason I just have no motivation to say anything. I've had inspiration to redo the layout, buy gifts for xmas, and go places. it just won't happen right yet. thinking is one thing and doing is another.

My reason for not going out is that I want to see Spirited Away and feel going out for any other reason would taint the experience though it probably wouldn't seeing as movie theatres are one of the few places I fear the most. going to safe places in the meantime would build up to that though yeah, it's not at our theatre anymore as I mentioned before. no other movies I want to see badly enough to go to the theatre. I just heard this movie was good on screen.

I've considered and reconsidered the Ohio trip option. grandma called yesterday and asked if they should send me a ticket. mom said no though. I miss alot of small things about Ohio (italian wedding soup. cookies; though we get these anyway. the tree. snow. seeing lindsey and all of 'em; arranging presents under the tree in order of person to see who's pile is the largest), but I'm not sure if it's enough to go when there's all these new procedures at airports now. it seems like such a hassle. it was a hassle before! I think of all those times I was restless and tired when I didn't have anxiety issues at all. then I double it times a thousand and realise it would be better not to deal with it at all. holidays are the worst times to travel. my rational thinking brain stops me from doing anything spontaneous.

As for gift buying. I think I have it covered. since the relatives don't read this, I'll go ahead and write down what I've thought about giving them:
Grandma- American Idol cd
Aunt Jo Jo- ditto above
Grandpa- shortbread or sugar cookies in tin, penguin chocolate mints and penguin mug (it's amusing cause I saw the latter two items at
thinkgeek and yeah, grandpa doesn't know much about the net or any o' that. he may think the penguin was a cute idea though; I'd hope)
Mom- a tank top
Dad- viking kitty mug ..maybe he'll get some penguin caffeinated chocolate mints, too; haven't decided

As of now, I'm unsure about lindsey cause I haven't asked for ideas yet. since I'm not buying anything yet (it isn't even Thanksgiving! I just want to be somewhat prepared for all the hard to buy for people), I may just ask her sometime next month and hope it won't take weeks for it to be shipped. I signed up for secret santa again this year as well. that means an extra gift to buy. I find the idea excellent though; I must also admit I got the penguin mint suggestion from that site.


Conversation concerning the mints between me and mom:
Mom: I thought they were shaped like penguins! this isn't as fun.
Me: I just find the idea as a whole cute; the cute little tin with a penguin on it and erm yeah...
Mom: *as I scroll down* ..Those have caffeine in them?!?
Me: What's wrong with that?
Mom: If you give those to grandpa he'll be wired and fall off the ladder at work! (he's a painter for the record)
Me: Um, they're for xmas. he won't be working then
Mom: Oh.'re going to include a note to only have them during xmas
Me: Ummm, no. he'll just be through with them by the end of the holidays anyway
Me: There's 15 milligrams in the mints
Mom: That's more than one cup of coffee! one cup is what? 7?
Me: Erm ..well, most have more than one cup I think. I don't know. it doesn't make much of a difference.
Mom: These are like caffeine pills! I don't know...
Me: They aren't going to kill him
Mom: Newspaper article reads: Grandfather dies cause of granddaughter's xmas gift
Me: Oh stop! that won't happen. I'll put a warning to just have one a day
Mom: I don't think he'll get it. the whole penguin theme!
Me: Well, I like penguins therefore when he sees them he'll know they came from me!
Mom: He doesn't know you like penguins. more like a YSU (Youngstown State University has a penguin mascot) reference
Me: Oh it doesn't matter. it looks like a gift. he'll think it's cute.
Mom: *skeptical look*
Me: *runs upstairs*


As you can see, I'm so prepared.

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