Finally we have a verdict. the sock is....

I Love The Lack of Logic
09:46 PM CST

Yes, I refuse to give in to the suspense ...hah! I'm evil (or not). maybe partially devious. anyway, yes, thank you, I. am. an. idiot. it was indeed a pair. they should make that more clear next time.

The irony of the experiment is that I'm still not keeping them cause they don't fit. I shouldn't have gotten the men's argyle sock cause it was prettier than that sock I linked just cause a woman was wearing it with a clog in one of the pictures. perhaps she has gigantic feet. anyway, it took me a whole afternoon to fill in the return slip with the new socks I wanted and pj pants. yeah, I bought a couple pairs of those and one was so long that probably one day I'd trip and go rolling down the stairs. if I can stick slippers on backwards and twist my ankle, anything is possible.

Of course, I didn't just stop on the return form after the two items I was exchanging for new items. I decided since I was cheated out of the new styles they added to the store after I ordered, I'd buy another pair of pants and another pair of pj pants with the new pair of pj pants I was exchanging for the old ones if that made any sense. anyway, I stuck all this in an envelope with the pre-paid return slip on top without showing mom what I put on the form at all. I'm quite evil and going to get taken away one day for shopping addiction.

Actually on Dr. Phil today they were talking about people's addictions. I do believe shopping is my only straight up addiction. I wouldn't call getting anxiety attacks in public an addiction even if I cannot stop them ...uh yes. anyway, the one guy on the show had a shopping addiction. he said he got a powerful rush when going into stores and spending money. I get a euphoric rush when I have a full cart or full list of items that I know I shall get soon enough to hold in my hands. it's all about the wait, the day of getting the package and giddily opening it that gets to me. I could soon enough just ask for a box maybe, but for some reason the rush is greater if I have more items within it. this would probably be how it would go:



Dr. Phil: now, let's think about this
Me: mmm hmm ...uh yes, tell me what I shall do
Dr. Phil: now you have got to decide for yourself. what is it about these packages that brings you happiness?
Me: well, they are pretty and ...and... I have a reason to be alive if I'm waiting for them
Dr. Phil: now, what makes you think you aren't worthy enough on your own? what about these inanimate objects, that are given by capitalist garshfersaken bastards, higher your self esteem?
Me: hm, that's a good question Dr. Phil. I don't know. really, I'd be happy as hell just to get a mix cd in the mail from a friend or a card or even time to hang out with someone
Dr. Phil: well, see? just wait for holidays for gifts. save your money child!


Okay, that was atad gay. Dr. Phil did talk about self worth and such. I fully admit that ordering myself gifts is like sayin' I'm worth it and then perhaps will want to go out and change my whole attitude. of course, it doesn't change my attitude at all. I may wear my things out, read my books, listen to the music, but it doesn't make me want to make frequent trips out or call people up anymore than I did before I had the gifts. I still cannot say I'd change the return slip to only have two items on it. I'm weak, sorry [plus, mostly the items on the list are sleepwear which I don't wear out, so I don't have to change my whole attitude to have those!].


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I've been thinking about xmas lately. I figure if I sell enough items on eBay, I can perhaps buy gifts for people without using the credit card. maybe I can go with mom to Target or somewhere like that to buy them cds and mugs in December. well, then again, whenever I "figure something out", eBay hates me that week and no one bids or I get the lowest amount. I need at least $15 for each person's gift, so I must think hard about this or put up expensive items like those diamond earrings. maybe people will order gifts early and the earrings will look desirable. they cannot still be cursed after more than a year, can they?


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Oh yes, also? since the week is just about over, I'm getting back to normal hormonally speaking. I've had a somewhat bad week with my wonky moods. this, of course, means I cannot blame my out of control spending habits on not knowing what I was doing cause of the blinding anger fluctuation now. bah.

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