I'm doing this today
The boss wants me to work? No way
I've got to be a Forum Diva real soon

I'll post here endlessly
Until a new status I see
Or I just run out of parody tunes

I know that I can write some more, but it's just sad
Thinkin' about the life I had, pad pad pad

(Pad pad)
I used to be a normal girl
Now I only exist in a Squishy world
Not yet a Punk Ass Bitch, and it makes me mad
Pad pad pad
(Pad pad)
The real world used to suit me fine
Now the time that matters is my time online
Don't be disappointed, Mom and Dad
Pad pad pad

Just hit me with a post, yo
Write me in Dear So-and-So
You want to read my journal, don't you?
Come on!

I'm an attention whore
See how many posts I can score
Until I get fired and have to move on

If you're in Texas, Korea, or Chad
Move aside and just let me pad
Pad pad pad

I got up off the floor from "My Sharona" just in time to fall down again from the rest of them.

Oh Squishy Squishy

Oh Squishy Squishy

Oh Squishy Squishy
How was I supposed to know
That these people weren't all right here
Oh Squishy Squishy
I shouldn't have bookmarked you, yo
You've taken over my life, yeah

Post me
I want to be in Squishy
Can't you all see
That we need to post now
Oh, because
My lowly status
Is killing me (and I)
I must confess
I still believe (still believe)
If I don't make Rock Star I'll lose my mind
Post my reply!!!
Post me, Squishy, one more time!

Oh Squishy Squishy
The first thing I read is you
This site has got me blinded
Oh Squishy, baby,
There's nothin' that I wouldn't do
It's not the way I planned it

Post me
I want to be in Squishy
Can't you all see
That we need to post now
Oh, because
My lowly status
Is killing me (and I)
I must confess
I still believe (still believe)
If I don't make Rock Star I'll lose my mind
Post my reply!!!
Post me, Squishy, one more time!

Oh Squishy Squishy

Oh Squishy Squishy

Oh Squishy Squishy
It was the end of the day, you know
Oh pretty panda
It was 5, I had to go...
But you know that
My lowly status
Is killing me (and I)
I must confess
I still believe (still believe)
If I don't make Rock Star I'll lose my mind
Post my reply!!!
Post me, Squishy, one more time!

My lowly status
Is killing me (and I)
I must confess
I still believe (still believe)
If I don't make Rock Star I'll lose my mind
Post my reply!!!
Post me, Squishy, one more time!

Waiting for reload, woah oah
When I will return to the forum again
Waiting for reload, woah oh oah
Flood control sucks when I'm feelin' no pain.

I admit it, what's to say
Al invented it, now I can pad
We got a backlink learnin' us 'bout Yellin' Man
And Wiley and Coyote, rudergirl and Pam, I say

Once upon a time, I could control myself.
Once upon a time, I could surf somewhere else.

Ohhhh, try and mimic, slingin' slang
Now that I'm a Whore, I feel I can hang
jdh and boo, weepboy and Allison
Hannah, rowEN and windy, yeah, they're cheering me on
Don't fret jeteke cause you're in my song, I say

Once upon a time, I could control myself
Once upon a time, I surfed somewhere else.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

(edited cause I'm a dumbass)

My Madonna tribute:

I made it through the internet
Other boards with their spam
Didn't know how lost I was
Until I found Pam

I was bored at my job
Now work's fun, yeah Squishy keeps me sane,
'Cause I love to post
Yeah I love to post
Got Pamie on the brain

Chorus:

Like a Squishite
Posting for the very first time
Like a Squishite
I'm so glad posting
Ain't a crime

Gonna give you all my love, y'all
My posts are coming fast
Gonna make it to the next step
'Cause I hear Whoring's a blast

You make me stay up late
You'll make me lose my job
'Cause I can't stop reading you
Yeah I keep reading you
Oh, you rock like Bob!

(chorus)

Oooh, oooh, oooh

Keep finding more threads to read, yo
I'll be back every day
'Cause y'all keep on postin'
Yeah y'all keep on postin'
'Til my Coke I spray

(chorus)

Like a Squishite, ooh, ooh
Like a Squishite
Feels likes we're all friends
When you quote me, and I quote you, and we all laugh

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, Squishy
Can't you see me post pad
For the very first time?

Sorry if that was a bit silly.

And look at tdp mentioning jateke!!!

quote:

---

Originally posted by tragicdeathpickles:

Don't fret jeteke cause you're in my song, I say

---

I knew this would happen. I've become the insecure one that everyone pats on the head, consoling, "it's okay, baby, you're cool," while muttering among themselves, "what a dork."

Just kidding (I hope). Thanks for including me!

quote:

---

Originally posted by jateke:
I'm very discouraged, though, because Rudergirl beat me with a song. I was halfway through "Update, Pamie, One More Time"--now I guess I'll have to find a new groove.

---

You can still do it! God knows that song needs all the help it can get.

to that wonderful 70's song.."The air that I breathe" by the Hollies.

if i could wind back time
i'm sure i'd pass
cant think of anything much worse

no talk of sex, no jokes, no whores, no Pam
no one to meet, no threads to read

posting something new
leaves me exhausted and tired
what more can i say?
i just long to be admired

eye strain comes upon me
and it lasts for weeks
so sleep forum diva, time to sleep

sometimes, i just long to be in Pamie's forum
and to post there
all i want is to be in the forum
yes, and post there
all i want is to be in the forummm

eye strain comes upon me
and it lasts for weeks
so sleep forum diva, time to sleep

sometimes, i just long to be in Pamie's forum
and to post there
all i want is to be in the forum
yes, and post there
all i want is to be in the forummm

[and this is going to be abit tricky since alot won't know this song at all..feh]

(believe me - I know this doesn't make too much sense but I did try to add as many people as I could)

-----------------------------
I'm PAM you know my name
I'm the one with the Squishy Forum ya know it's all the same
I'm moving to L.A. and that is cool
I'm gonna get famous and ya know I ain't no fool
my cat is taylor, he won't sit on my lap
and cal is evil - he's gonna bust a cap
I'm abit scared as everybody knows
my site is phat, though heh YO!
we got Meg and we'll make a bet
that she can break the forum - oh yeah the padding party is set
we got Allison and ya know with the sheep love - shes gotta have some more
the forum is bangin' and I keep laughin' - makes my belly so sore
my keyboard is drippin from the coffee I spit yo
Nothin but a drunk I nevah game goin' on in the introduction, fo' sho'
and we know who won't get left out - it's jateke
she's very cool and we all know, ya see
My name is..

*chorus*
ppppppp aaaaa mmmm
pamie's squishy forum

pass the crack tweedle li tweedle la
it's not in the u of the lives nudes sign, bah!
before I post again, I've gotta get in on the wedding party ball
I started off small and now I'm high up in the rollcall
you know my name I'm PAM
I can rise up above all of dem
I tell you how it's gonna be
and I'll tell you how it was
tae bo and imported coffee mugs
I'm high up in the zone
in the squishy forum, you're never alone
we have yet to cross the line
and make a squishy forum shrine

pppppppp aaaaaa mmmmmmm
pamie's squishy forum

then we have rowEn she stole the sign back
because we know mike's game was whack
I never go to sleep
because everyone else is up talkin' bout sheep [haha]
I'm drinkin up, and I'm gonna drown
ya know everyone in here is a clown
the movie quotes didn't go over well, what a crock
so lay a sock in it, we're all winnas
some quotes were so hard and we turned into sinnas
we'd pad other stuff because we could
gonna because a superstar - ya know we should!
no one would shun us
because we're the squishy forum and that's a bonus!
you know my name

pppppppppp aaaaaaaaa mmmmmmmmmm
pamie's squishy forum

[edited for a typo]

Bring it.
Whoo!
Unh, unh, unh, unh
Hoo cah cah
Hah hah, hah hah
Chicka chicka bow bow bow,
chicka bow bow bump bump
What, what, what, what
Hah hah hah hah
Unh,
On your mark ready set let's post
Web site pro I know you know
I go psycho when my new posts hit
Just can't sit
Gotta get squishy wit it
Umm, that's it now pamie pamie come ride
Got heel sauce all up in my eye
You gotta drinkin' thread with alotta stuff in it
Send it to your friend let's spin
Everybody readin' 'bout me
And my friends in the mob
Wishin they was rockin' like Bob
I'm losin' my job
r-g right from Hotlanta-lanta
I just wing it
It's part of my style...I don't sing it
am-pay the ick-chay on the ite-say all day
Give it up y'all...talk about that foreplay
Yo, my postin' science is infinite
ha ha
Pamie's style's all in it

Gettin' Squishy wit it
na na na na na na na
na na na na nana
Gettin' Squishy wit it

Gettin' Squishy wit it
na na na na na na na
na na na na nana
Gettin' Squishy wit it

Gettin' Squishy wit it
na na na na na na na
na na na na nana
Gettin' Squishy wit it

Gettin' Squishy wit it
na na na na na na na
na na na na nana
Gettin' Squishy wit it

Taking a cue from leigha, I'd like to thank Miller Lite, The Bar in Buckhead, and that odd fruit-flavored shot that I got for dancing on the bar...I couldn't have done it without you...

Question: Tell me what you think about this
I parody songs and I make fun of the hits
From Madonna to the Beetles to the Byrds
Postin' new songs without the old words

Question: Tell me how you feel about this
Flood-control always makes me all pissed
I tell my own stories and I make up haikus
Then give makeup tips and talk about shoes.

The revenge that I seek
I post it
Tales about my week
I post it
Bob is rockin'
And I love Squishy

If I hear a song worth singin'
I'll post it
A joke worth tellin'
I'll post it
A tip worth sharin'
I'll post it
Cause I love Squishy
(Love Squishy)

All the women who are independent
Post some stuff on Squishy
All the honeys who makin' money
Come find me on Squishy
All the mommas who profit dollahs
Give me tips on Squishy
All the ladies who truly feel me
Tell your tales on Squishy

Girl I didn't know you could get down like that
Pamie, how your Squishites get down like that?
Girl I didn't know you could get down like that
Pamie, how your Squishites get down like that?

Tell me how you feel about this
Who would I want if I had the chance to get
Go to "Crushes" or "Top 5" and make a list
Ladies, it ain't easy choosin' 'tween Brad and Ben...

Question: Tell me what you think about this
Is Pamie as funny as we all think she is?
Have you ever been to see one of her shows?
Boy, is it hard to make these words flow...

The revenge that I seek
I post it
Tales about my week
I post it
Bob is rockin'
And I love Squishy

If I hear a song worth singin'
I'll post it
A joke worth tellin'
I'll post it
A tip worth sharin'
I'll post it
Cause I love Squishy
(Love Squishy)

All the women who are independent
Post some stuff on Squishy
All the honeys who makin' money
Come find me on Squishy
All the mommas who profit dollahs
Give me tips on Squishy
All the ladies who truly feel me
Tell your tales on Squishy

Girl I didn't know you could get down like that
Pamie, how your Squishites get down like that?
Girl I didn't know you could get down like that
Pamie, how your Squishites get down like that?

Sitting here alone
the forum's waiting
Meg's a Superstar?
Are you sure?
rowEn is not convinced
but the computer
has the evidence.
But no need to whine.
She's got the "Live Nude" sign.

Watching in a trance
cranberry's certain
Somebody hijacked
her first thread
"Introducing Me"
became "I never"
Hannah has to drink.
(and rock like Bob)
The posts go on

4-3-2-1
Squishy forum
Whores and Divas
Posting Madly
Must post ... must post more

Allison and sheep ...
What's up with that yo?
Heather joins Wendy
in Montreal
Trying to keep track
Of Alma Maters
How can I keep up
With what’s going on
On the forum

At Dear So-and-So
there is a problem.
Cursed flood control!
Not responding!
I have to start the page!
Damned sixty seconds
seem to last an age.
I'm standing by.
There's no reply.

4-3-2-1
Squishy forum
Whores and Divas
Posting madly
Must post ... must post more

Across the Internet, a final message
"I'm a Punk Ass Bitch"
Then nothing more...

Scully R.I.P.
The world is mourning.
Rudergirl writes songs
With starlight.
Work may always call…
But who can resist
The Forum’s siren song
“I must post more
must post some more…”

Squishy forum
Whores and Divas
Posting madly
Must post more

Squishy forum
Whores and Divas
Posting madly
Must post ... must post more

Pimp my site, pimp my site
'Cause no one is around it
Don't seem to have found it
Baby, that ain't right
Pimp my site, pimp my site
You act like you don't know me
So I can't say "Go me!"
Have to pimp my site

Just the other day, I would post, you would say
"Your site is OK!" but today, it ain't the same
Visits goin' down, they were down yesterday
Could it be that you are busy reading other journals?

If that is the case, first of all, let me say
I am not the one to sit around -- I update
May not tell you my name, or how often I get laid
But I want some brand new eyes
So I better pimp my site!

I know everybody knows the URL
('Cause I post it with every damn entry)
Shouldn't be no reason why you don't go see
(There's nobody holding you back from me)
'Cause I know how you usually do
(With journals, you don't stop at one or two)
Why don't you just look anew
(If somebody's reading, tell me who)

Pimp my site, pimp my site
I always check my site counts
Needing larger amounts
Numbers taking flight
Pimp my site, pimp my site
I need some more attention
Now tell me, did I mention
That I have a site?

Everyone come clean, tell the truth, who do you read
How would you like for me to post photos from Squishy?
I know you love Pamie, and maybe SecraTerri
Jen, Rob,Dana, I see, but is there no love for me?
It's hard to believe that you are at home, and online
And deciding that mine is just not worth your time
So come on and be brave, open up a new page
It would be my delight
If you would look at my site!

I know it's not easy reading everyone's
(God knows there are enough on Diaryland),
But that's not enough reason to avoid the fun
(And I won't shut up till I'm done)
'Cause I know how it usually goes
(Can't stop a self-pimpin' Forum Ho)
Why don't you . . . well, you know
(Increase my traffic -- read it slow!)

Pimp my site, pimp my site
Better than all the others
Tell your sisters and brothers
To go read what I write
Pimp my site, pimp my site
Come on and boost my ego
If you have to pee, go
But come back and see my site

The Party Song by Blink 182.

I'm gonna go and log on to Squishy
Sometimes you guys wake me up at 11:30

This thing's got a forum--the people are cool there

Reluctant registry, but I never dreamed there would be something there that would catch my attention

So I finished registry, and then got in free, logged on in, and then headed inside to Squishy.

And then in the journal, this girl that is named Pam, she's got a cool life and boy called Eric, this is not lame, no one is the same, and we all got some, I'm so glad that I stayed, but my status lowly, I'm thirteen away from becoming a stalker, and then will become a forum whore and dress myself up, and bring in some Cokes, and go back inside Squishy!

And then I saw her post right there with all it's flame and flair, though I couldn't just what she wears, at least I knew that she was the Pamie with the kitty named Cal who says she must die, and then I learned SQUISHY REALLY RULES!

Ba na na, ba na na, ba na na, Squishy really rules, Ba na na, ba na na, ba na, Squishy really rules the posts, and song parodies, and the hilarious posters and the things that they post to me.

I couldn't believe what these people were sayin' the names they was droppin', the games they was playin, about all their bad dates and all of the good tastes that say see everywhere, and how they walk around is misguided disguse, and they broke up the forum, and flooded the pages, that's really not tasteless, damn, how can you hate this? I wanna go see em and meet and greet em and post em and know em and like em and see them at the Squishy!

So when you see her post right there with all it's flame and flair, though you can't see just what she wears, at least you know that she is the Pamie with the kitty named Cal who says she must die, and you will learn that SQUISHY REALLY RULES!

Ba na na, ba na na, ba na na, Squishy really rules, Ba na na, ba na na, ba na, Squishy really rules the posts, and song parodies, and the hilarious posters and the things that they post to me.

Ba na na, ba na na, ba na na Squishy really rules, ba na na, ba na na, ba na na, Squishy really rules!
---------------------------------------------

God. That sucked ass.

people, i am so failing at this.

I'm an insominiac, insomniac for sure
And i'm posting like i've never posted before
i'm an insomniac, insomniac i know
and i just may be the post you're looking for

quote:

---

Originally posted by Andi:
I'm not sure that Mike's Major Tom parody was given it's proper homage. That was close to genius.

---

Thank you, Andi. I was afraid nobody had noticed.

Sometimes, I just get the urge to kick it old school like that.

I was going to write one to BNL's "One Week" but I've lost the ambition *sigh*. It would make my day if someone else would though