So Flexible It Hurts
10:08 PM CST
Just abit ago, I went to her room to tell her of my well rounded out "wishlist" for jcrew ...she said "oh, is it to 1,000 yet?" and I, then said, "no, but close! 519!" I misunderstood what she meant. she didn't mean price; she meant number of items. I was like, "ack! no, no, no!! $519!" then she said, "oh, good then" like this was a gooood thing that it was just the price and not the # of items. that's funny.
She was watching one of her yoga dvd's ...she's getting into the dvd craze now that she has one. before she couldn't care less about the things and how good they were. soooo, the fitness ball was right there and I did some sort've freaky move on the thing with my legs on top of it and sort've lifting up and trying to roll. mom then said I should put my ass on the floor and try a push up ...um? I liked what I was doing better. she then realised that whenever she tells me a move to try, I end up kerplunking to the floor and hurting myself. I joke that I'll probably lose my balance one day and fly out the middle window. wahoo! then hit the ground in the front of the house. yaaaay!
I wonder if what I just did counts as working out. probably not though the palms of my hands are red and I feel somehow more energised. I guess it can't hurt, so whatever.
I've decided what I want to get mom for Mother's Day granted she doesn't change her mind and add more important items she MUST have. hey, it happens! I mean, since I started deciding what I want for my bday, I've changed my mind about two billion times. Mother's Day appears four days beforehand, so it's far enough away for the same thing to occur. plus, items seem to go out of stock pretty quickly which sucks. the stuff I stuck in my jcrew cart seems to not stay available for long, so I get antsy. of course, their new items are about the same except different colours, so it isn't a big deal.
The other day, I finally got my book and import album (Anja Garbarek - Balloon Mood). the cd was freaky enough that listening to it before bed was a baaad idea (the laughter and demented whispering on certain tracks; one sounded like the demon; I didn't hear that until listening with headphones). on top of that, I listened to some satanic group talking about lucifer and 666. my dream consisted of me and this long haired guy in a dark alley. I suddenly started making out with him and then pulled away smugly abit later. he then opened his mouth in a slight grin as fangs appeared. he began to get closer and was about to attack when this little girl hit me with her stuffed white rabbit, stumbling into the river. I'm unsure what that was about. I guess the hitting was to distract the guy from biting me and sucking my blood, so she represents good. especially cause of the colour white that was clearly there.
Anyway, I was only semi-frightened by this ...really, I found it a rather interesting dream. unlike this morning's dream ....
I found a concealed item in a mailbox-like thing ...it was a rifle. I kept rustling it and turned it in the palms of my hands as if I was admiring it. I kept putting it back and taking it back out like I wanted to somehow cause an accident and shoot myself. seriously. I told the girl I was with that this was here to stop the weddings of the women who were to arrive the next day. the woman panicked and told me she was to attend! I tried to calm her down, telling her it wasn't that bad. I seemed like a horrible person. I should've gotten her to safety and told her not to go. gaaah!
I, then, was sitting in front of a computer in the hallway next to a window with bright light. richard's screenname was there and he told me it was his birthday. the day was april 22nd according to the computer clock. wha? there was a birthday cake in the corner of his IM box ...um...oookaaay.
This dream represents my life not having much meaning and not having common sense, I think. I do have common sense though. I think that was thrown in to show how sometimes I get exasperated over dad's lack thereof. the gun represented wanting to end my life; wanting the thrill that it could end perhaps. well, this is what I told mom. plus, my less serious explanation is that I want to kill off the sanctity of marriage (just ban it) and therefore we'll all just live in unmarital bliss (still want my proposal!!). richard's bit in the dream, I guess, is cause I forgot what day his birthday is and I'm rather burdened down that I only recall it being in April which is ending soon, so yeah.
Tomorrow I might attempt to read outside. I kept wanting to this past week, but the book didn't arrive till Thursday. Friday mom kept me waiting on checking my mail/the forum, so I was too bent out of shape to go read - especially when it was 5:30pm. I just went online and forgot about it. today, I got up at 4:30pm, so there just wasn't enough time to do what I wanted. especially cause mom stayed online till around 6:40pm. not cool. tomorrow I shall definitely try to get up earlier and venture out. my skin is bugging me. I like my face, but my legs need more colour. perhaps then I'll want to wear shorts.
The turkey sub I had for dinner with the bbq chips while watching Trading Spaces made up for the late online time. I hadn't had one in awhile since I was attempting to be good by not asking for takeout/pick up food. food costs money. soon mom might make me pay for it if I ask for good food too often. not that food at home isn't good. eh.
*full on crushmode* ...where did you go?
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